The great Kindergarten debate, debacle, and finally decision

The last 6 months have been very stressful while deciding where Liam would attend school for the next school year.

The simpliest solution would be for Liam to attend our neighborhood elementary school less than a mile from the house.  Initially, my biggest concern with sending him to kindergarten here was due to the fact his birthday is less than 2 weeks from the cut-off, meaning he'd be the youngest in the class and likely the whole kindergarten.  I considered holding him back a year, but the neuropsychological evaluation specifically advised against it and I was counseled that Liam might even need to skip a grade in the future.

The other concern I had about the neighborhood school was based on special education services.  Another JAG family with a son with autism will be placed at a different school in a special education classroom and his family was told the nearest school did not have the support he needed.  I asked for Liam to be placed at that same school, but was told that since Liam will be mainstreamed, they will not place him in a different school unless he struggles.  By law, Alabama has to follow his current IEP for one month, but after that, all bets are off, and based on my experience the last time we were here, I know the support offered with not be adequate.

The third concern was based on where Liam is advanced.  According to his testing, he was doing math, reading, spelling, passage comprehension at the 1st grade, 7 month level in March.  He needs to be working at the 1st grade level in many areas, while making accomodations for his developmental delays.  The neighborhood school's answer to this is to take advanced students out of the kindergarten room and send them to 1st grade. Liam does NOT handle transition well so this solution would have been disasterous.  Liam never did adjust to visiting the kindergarten room with his speech teacher last year in his special education preschool.

This was basically 3 strikes against the public school and made me decide it was not the right placement.  This, however, caused alot of doubt and anxiety as private placement means losing the IEP. 

In May, Liam had a chance to test for a slot at the academic magnet here in Montgomery.  There were lots of issues with this process. I think I vented my frustration about it earlier this month.  In the end, Liam WAS offered a slot at the academic magnet, which claims to work one grade  level ahead.  After arriving in Alabama, we visited the magnet, and Liam would have been able to manage EVERY requirement BUT ONE.  They have student do copywork and write 4 sentence paragraphs that need to be illustrated.  The students do this completely independently while the teacher does small reading groups.  A kindergarten teacher watched Liam write his name and due to his improper grip said he would not be able to meet this requirement.  I asked about accomodations, and it was clear the school would not work for us.  In describing a student with a fine motor delay she had last year, the teacher mentioned that the student's mom mentioned she'd be wearing noise-cancelling headphones at school for 1st grade and the princiapl basically acted like that was an unreasonable thing and the student would be forbidden from doing so.  I don't have the time, energy, or patience to battle that level of ignorance.

So, we called the academic agnet and declined Liam's spot.  It was the right decision for Liam, but I worried that turing that spot down meant Liam would not be challenged.

Way back, I regsitered Liam at a half-day private kindergarten (the public kindergarten programs are full day).  This kindergarten is part of a preschool program, and has 3 kindergarten classes of 15 students each.  The school is at a large Methodist church and teacher reading and math by the A Beka method, and included social studies and science learning centers that rotate each week or every other week.  They formally teach Music weekly and Physical Education daily.  If Liam stayed for 6 hours rather than 4 (optional and offered twice a week), he will get TWO recesses.  It seemed to meet all the needs I had, and given the small size minimizes the transition issues Liam sometimes experiences.  Because it is half-day, Liam will have his afternoons free.

Here is the BIG decision, I will partially homeschool Liam this year.  He has completed the Handwriting Without Tears curriculum THREE times, but still struggles with handwriting and does not use the correct writing grasp.  I am going to attempt teaching his the curriculum myself in order to improve his writing skills.  I hope that ABA and OT will continue to work on this, but I would like to be able to say that I personally did all I could.  I also have ordered some science kits and a multi-sensory grade 1 math program (Math-U-See) in order to teach enrichment in the afternoons and ensure he is challenged academically.  I have a multi-sensory reading program picked out in case I feel like he needs more teaching for reading.  I don't know that homeschooling is in our future, but I do know that it will be difficult to find a school environment that can support Liam's delayed areas and challenge him in his advaned areas.

Now I can finally get excited over the fact that my first born is starting kindergarten....KINDERGARTEN!!!!!!!!  Where has the time gone?

The Gambler

When I moved in with my grandparents when I was 9, I spent a lot of time doing farm chores with my grandfather, listening to Kenny Rogers.  I knew every word to "The Gambler": You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run.  You never count your cards when your sittin' at the table, there'll be time enough for counting when the dealin's done.

Dealing with MPS department of special education or even MPS at all reminds me of this song.  I dealt with them in August 2010 and the result was a poor evaluation (now that I have seen Ben evaluated and know how much better it could have been done) and an awful IEP.  Liam had the good fortune to move to Alaska where all his needs were met despite this.

I am not in Alabama yet, but I am already wondering if the fight is worth the outcome we'll receive.

In addition to already feeling bullied by the special education department, I am just angry in general.  Montgomery has a very small number of magnet schools.  In every year before 2012, there was a January and May application period.  This is important as Montgomery has such a large military population.  When the January 2012 magnet application period happened, they filled EVERY slot in the magnet school.  There was no notice this was happening.  Who does this impact?  Military families!

After pressure from several sources (including another JAG family who moved to Montgomery in February), MPS said they'd do a May Application period if you had military orders showing you were not present in Montgomery in January.  They said that additional school slots would need to be approved. I anticipated only a handful of kids would be applying.  As I am in Alaska. I had to go to Liam's special education teacher and eventually the lementary school principal.  They made personal time to ensure Liam could test.  In the meantime, my friend in Montgomery said they ended up doing testing for 2 weeks, testing 30+ kids and at least 5 kindergarteners at each testing time.

This week we all got letters, saying that while our children were "qualified" to attend the magnet school, there were no slots.  They did that testing, supervised it, and clearl never intended to open any more slots. I don't know what it cost MPS but I know those resources could have gone to the special education program which they keep claiming in under-funded.

To say that I am furious is an understatement.  To say that I have not an ounce of trust or respect for the adminstration of MPS is a truth.

I have some ideas swirling around my head about options for how to best protect Liam, but I think the end result is that I will send Liam to the private half-day kindergarten I enrolled him in months ago.  Now I just need to find the belief in myself to trust that this is the right decision and not beat myself up.

Ben's "graduation" and IEP progress report/ OT re-evaluation

On Tuesday, Ben had his last day of both speech and of his special education play group.  Ben's teacher had a little graduation ceremony and nothing is cuter than a just turned 3 year old wearing a construction paper graduation cap.

Ben's IEP quarterly progress report shows he MET every single social goal.  I was floored.  I am used to Liam's progress inching along with regressions.  Socially, Ben is just exploding.  We also had our last day of his Early Intervention social skills group today, and one of the more aggressive children was in Ben's personal space.  Ben kept cowering and hiding behind me.  After class he told me, "my necklace" (the little girl had grabbed his necklace) followed by "Ben sad."  He can even identify emotions.  Things like this just seem unbelievable to me.  It helps me let go of my worries about Ben, and let's me know that the kind of developmental delays he faces are much easier addressed than Liam.

On his IEP progress report, he still has alot of work to do on his speech goals.  His articulation still needs alot of work, and his senetence length is not what you'd expect of a 3 year old.  He can answer questions (almost better than Liam) except for "why" questions, he was at 0% for those.  Overall, since he started school based speech therapy, he has made amazing progress.  I worry about him having a break in therapy this summer, and I know he'll need private speech therapy as soon as we arrive in Montgomery. 

Ben had his OT re-evaluation a couple weeks ago.  His private OT noted that his muscle tone and strength were low average.  He was given the Peabody Developmental Motor Scales, and his "greasping" score is that of a 20 month old (tested at 37 months). Out of curiosity, I looked at Liam's OT evaluation done at nearly the same age (Liam was 38 months and Ben was 37 months....both were evaluated at the same therapy center here in Alaska, but by different OTs).  Liam's fine motor quaotient was tested as in normal limits at that point.  Interesting, since he is quite delayed now.  In any case, Ben's "grasping" score was low but it was evened out by his high score in visual motor integration.  In self-care skills, Ben tests as delayed.  He cannot remove a single item of clothing, not even socks or shoes.  This is a huge OT concern at the moment, as he needs to learn how to undress before he can learn how to dress.

As always with OT stuff, the sensory profile is where Ben really showed his OT needs.  His auditory system showed a definite difference and his OT noted "Ben has difficulty functioning in a crowded, noisy room often requiring to be touched before he will respond to his name or follow a direction."  Ben shows a definite difference in vesitibular processing and his OT notes that while he recently has begun to explore the swings, he "frequently demonstrates fear and takes a rigid posture when his feet leave the ground."

Overall, I am finding myself awed by the progress Ben has made.  I worry about him less and less.  It has helped as I forsee him losing his IEP after the move, but I think he will do fine with a good preschool setting and private OT and speech.

Leaps and Bounds

Exciting things are happening in Ben's world.  He started school based speech therapy a little over a month ago.  The progress he has made in that month is astounding.  I have become gun shy of using the term "language explosion" as I have seen regression/stalled progress following big gains, but it seems to fit. 

Ben is speaking in sentences finally!  In addition to that, he asks questions!!!!!!  Something I hear everyday while we drive, usually on the way home from wherever we were. "Where going, Mommy?"  "Ben, we are going back home." "Cause, why, Mommy?"  Oh, and mama is a word seldom heard, and the way he says Mommy is so cute.  In situations where he is comfortable, he'll talk a bit, but he still refuses to talk in many social situations.  His fluency is slow; he sounds like someone learning a foreign language.  He talks slowly, halts alot, and makes many grammatical errors.  But he is finally trying!

His articulation is improving, and he is so cooperative about practicing his speech homework.  He has been exclusively working on s-blends.  His first instinct is to drop the s, and his SLP has several cues for him to use it.  He cannot manage sp or sl, even with the cues, but he tries.  We work on word pairs, and initially he couldn't hear the difference between words off by only one letter, but now he totally gets it.

He is toe walking so much less!  His physical therapist said that the progress he makes from week to week is what she usually sees over a month or several months.  I am feeling confident that after we move this summer, we will be done with PT for good.

He had no problems adjusting to the little class he attends.  He waves bye-bye to me, and seems to have fun.  He has made his first ever friend with a little girl from the social skills class we have been in since September.  The little girl is shy and reserved and the two of them seem to understand each other.  Ben still isn't interested in socializing with most children.  Liam has always wanted to be part of the group but misses alot of social cues and is awkward in his interactions.  Ben, by contrast, seems to look at most kids with a sense of disgust and disinterest.  He likes people he interacts with reguarly, but much prefers adults to kids his age.

He has finally gotten over his dislike of Dave and happily goes to him.  It is more than that....when he hears the garage door open, he stops whatever he is doing and runs into the garage to get hugs from Dave.  Liam is happy to see Dave but often doesn't notice him until he has been home for awhile as he is too engrossed in what he is doing.

Ben seems to be making cognitive leaps.  He gets days of the week now and remembers the order things happen in with our crazy schedule.  He has finally figured out the pattern of counting and can count higher than 20.  Because of this, he spends alot of time counting.  Liam was like that for a very long time, and numbers have begun to signal, happy boys for me, so I sometimes don't take notice of the counting.

The only area with no progress is eating.  Ben still refuses most foods that need to be chewed, except for a limited number of safe foods.  He has recently added cheeseburger as a safe food, so that is something.  He will NOT touch food at all and would rather eat nothing that touch food with his hands.

His OT did a re-evaluation on him this week and said that he lacked many simple skills she'd expect in an 18 month old, but then had other skills that you don't expect to see until age 4.  We have had this problem with Liam, so it isn't new, but it means we have another child that testing is not completely accurate for, and who refuses to fit in the mold.

Twice exceptional

2e is the short-hand for twice exceptional, which means a child who has a diagnosis (Asperger's, PDD-NOS, ADHD, etc) and is also gifted.  They are called twice exceptional because they often need IEPs addressing both delayed areas AND areas where they are ahead.  Twice exceptional is long to write out, so the short hand is 2e.

When I heard that Liam is highly gifted, I did not feel excited.  Intellectually, I recognize all the promise that brings.  I understand that Liam will have opportunities that others won't.  As far as special needs go, we have "won the lottery" so to speak as teaching Liam how to fit in/blend is easier than it is for other families.  Do not misunterstand my feelings to mean that I wished he weren't gifted.  A part of me is so excited and proud and feels vindicated because I honestly always knew he was brilliant.  Knowing he is gifted allows me to view his behavior not as an obsessive symptom of autism but as intellectual persistence.  He can be viewed as socially awkward because he is so bright that his brain works differently rather than socially delayed due to autism.

I have still had a mourning period about this newest bit of information, not unlike the mourning I did when I learned of his diagnosis of PDD-NOS.  Reading the report from  the psychologist reminded me that I am not crazy.  Being highly/provoundly gifted bring with it a set of challenges that overlap with challenges experienced by people with autism.  Profoundly gifted is a Full Scale IQ above 145 and Liam's is 144.....his non-verbal IQ is proundly gifted and his verbal IQ is simpley gifted, which leaves his full scale on the line between highly and profoundly gifted.  The more standard deviations from the "norm" a child, the more social and emotional problems they are prone to.  With Liam 4 standard deviations above the norm, you get an idea of the differences between him and most children.  One of the challenges cited time and again about highly gifted children is their extreme energy level and their decreased need for sleep, as well as asynchronious development and being highly sensitive.  If you read that right, those are also some of the challenges about raising a child on the autism spectrum.

All of this also highlighted the idea that Liam will ne an IEP through school.  School will not be as easy as just registering him, at least not until high school when he can take more advanced classes.  Researching the 2e community shows that many parents resort to homeschooling out of frustration and due to lack of options.  They might be able to secure gifted services, but not services for developmental delays.....or it might be the opposite.  Many are reluctant homeschoolers, and all of these problems are made worse when you add in military moves.

I was already struggling with what to do with Liam next year, and finding out this information made things more confusing.  The only thing it clarified for me is that holding him back a year will not help. 

Elgibility results and special education, the 2nd time

Today was my meeting to find out the results of Ben's school eligibility testing...you know, the one he was so charming and cooperative for.

The overall report showed that Ben is 25% delayed in social skills and 20% delayed in speech/articulation and expressive language.  The recommonded services are that he attends 1 hour of speech at his local elementary school (where he'll see the same SLP that does speech with Liam's SPED class) and that he has a CARE (Community-based Assistance and Resources in Early intervention) team that works with him.  If he were old enough to attend preschool, the CARE team would work with his community based preschool and would provide 2 hours of special education within that setting.  As he is too young for preschool, he will attend a play group headed by a SPED teacher twice a week.

For comparison to Liam's eligibility scores and services, see this post from September 2010.

The eligibility testing was quite thorough.  A testing of his articulation showed he was 72% intelligiable to an SLP, which is considered moderately delayed as he should be almost completely understandable to an untrained person.  The two articulation areas she is most concerned about are: final consonent deletion and cluster reduction/omission.  He makes other articulation errors, but some are normative for his age (the example given is "wai" for light).

The testing on expressive vocabulary showed him a standard score of 79, or a delay of 20%.  They also did an interpretation of his expressive language and wrote down everything he said. By 2 years 11 months, most children are apeaking in 4 word sentences.  The average length of Ben's sentences is 2.9 words and 85% of those 2-3 words phrasescontained either grammatical errors or had unitelligble words.

Anchorage is considering Ben's speech to be moderately delayed.

They tested his fine and gross motor skills.  They noted his issues with sensory integration but said it was being treated through private therapy.  I need to research this, but I think they aren't supposed to consider what we do privately.  Using a test of fine motor skills, they found his pre-writing skills to be a strength.  I am not sure what to think of this.  By Ben's age, Liam could draw a circle and stick figures and not long after turning three, he could write his name.....and Liam has a known fine motor delay.  Ben cannot do those things yet.  I think I need to keep my eye on this.

They tested his pre-academic school readiness and he scored in the average name, though they oted that they could not give him credit for the things he can do that are above age level.

In the area of Behavior/Social Skills/Emotional skills, Ben scored as 25% delayed in the areas of social interaction and independence.  In order to address this, he will attend a twice a week play group (drop off play group) with a special education teacher at an elementary school here in town.

There is more to write about this, but I am in the middle of a crazy day which has involved, Liam's bus stuck in snow, being locked down on base, and fighting to get an updated ID card...in addition to IEP writing, etc.

I need 2 bottles of wine tonight....bottles, not glasses in this case.

This changes everything....

Last week I got the results of Liam's neuropsychological testing. To say I was shocked is a bit of an understatement. I thought I knew how he did on the test, but I was dead wrong.

I wanted the testing to help with educational testing and to look at areas that might be deficits. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I wondered if Liam is gifted. I am his mom and I think he is special. I spent the week after the testing preparing myself to hear he is NOT gifted, as statistically that was the most likely outcome. I thought I was prepared to hear whatever I might be told, but again, I was wrong.

I was not prepared to hear that Liam tested in the top 1%. I was not prepared to hear he is highly gifted. I was not prepared to hear that due to his intelligence, he has unique needs: a different approach to education (rather than just more work typical of public schools gifted programs). I was not prepared to hear that the disconnect between his intelligence and his pragmatic language skills means he suffers anxiety....and will need therapy sooner rather than later. I was especially not prepared to hear that Liam might not be on the autism spectrum due to the fact that do many if his symptoms of autism overlap with weaknesses of highly gifted kids....or that he might have both PDD-NOS and be highly gifted or something known as twice exception (2e).

While I wait for the report , I am re-grouping and trying to figure out an educational plan. It is clear Liam while never fit any mold and that our path will always be the path less taken. He will always be quirky and social awkwardness will come with his package. On the other hand, I am grateful for the cognitive shift to remind me of all that Liam can do and the fact he is one amazing kid.

The week that brought us all down

Last week was a week where nothing seemed to go right or as expected.  It seemed to last forever and the weekend was not at all relaxing.

Monday was Ben's school eligibility testing, and my sullen boy was all smiles and cooperation and charm for the SLP, SPED teacher, and school psychologist who met him.  He told them what his name was, showed off his academic skills, and spoke in sentences...yes, sentences!  He kept smiling at me and saying "Mama, I having lot fun!"  I am not sure where this talking version of Ben came from but he only vaguely resembled my real son.  In any case, we go back on March 30th for the results of the testing and to write his IEP, if appropriate.  They couldn't tell me the results of the testing on the spot, but did say they were concerned by the amount of echolalia they heard and some other speech irregularities.

Tuesday was the first day of spring, but we live in Alaska and still have more snow on the ground than I am tall, so it was a bit anti-climatic.  We are experiencing break up, which means the snow and ice is starting to melt and break a bit.  Highs are still below freezing but the sunlight we are getting is making things melt. I volunteered in Liam's school and that is always hard for me emotionally as I see how different his play is than his classmates.  Around this time, Ben suddenly decided he needed to be held non-stop so I should have known what was coming.  I believe this photo was taken that day as the boys had woken at 3am and never napped despite riding in the car for over 3 hours that day:

Wednesday seemed to be normal until the last afternoon.  I went to leave for karate and Ben was covered in liquid poop up to his shoulders.  I got him clean and got Liam to karate on time.  That night Liam had soft poop.  I was worried as we had a full Thursday planned and Dave was even taking leave.

4:30am Ben woke crying with another awful diaper.  We had just got him cleaned and back to sleep when Liam woke saying he had to poop....and he ended up vomiting.  I cancelled all school that day and left Dave to deal with the boys.  Our heating system was getting a check that day and it was discovered our hot water heater was leaking so we lost all hot water.  Somewhere in there I got my hair cut and then I went to meet with the neuropsychologist for the results of Liam's testing.  The results need their own post, so more on that later.  The boys seemed better by afternoon and we went to bed hopeful....until 11am when Liam woke crying and we got into his room just in time to watch him projectile vomit everywhere.

Friday morning Ben seemed better so I took him into Anchorage for a PT (physical therapy) assessment while Dave stayed home with Liam.  It turns out that Ben DOES need PT in order to work on his extreme toe walking.  We got home, and everything was fine until the evening whenBen was suddenly back to liquid poops.  Friday afternoon we got a new water heater, but somehow it has screwed up our water pressure and now hot water comes at only a trickle.  We still haven't fixed that.

Liam was better by Saturday afternoon but Ben was still sick on Sunday.  After the last week, I need a vacation, but this week we have: Liam's PT assessment, PT and OT for Ben, speech (x3) and OT (x2) for Liam, Floortime for Ben, Early Intervention and playgroyup for Ben and ABA for Liam.....plus Ben's IEP meeting and meeting with Liam's SPED teacher to plan a new IEP for him given the results of the neuropsychology testing.

Milestones, testing, spring break, oh my

This week was Liam's spring break from school.  Dave was acting SJA at work, so the boys and I had a quiet week with playdates with friends and battling colds.  Changes in schedule often lead to crazy behavior, but this week wasn't bad, all in all.  Last week Ben was in the emergency room for his 3rd head injury and had to get a staple, but it healed quickly and the staple came out this week.

This week brought 2 big milestones for Ben:

He is finally telling me that he loves me! Surprisingly for a kid on the spectrum, Liam reached this milestone when he was younger than Ben.  Ben has been walking around using a delayed echolalia phrase from a Christmas episode of Blue's Clue and anytime we read a book declares, "I love this book SO MUCH!"  He recently started saying he loves everything.....except for me.  So hearing "I love you, Mama" was the sweetest sound in the world. 

Ben is spelling his name!  He still cannot answer the question "What is your name?" but randomly declares "B.......E.......N, Ben!"  He also can spell a couple words by memory and this morning saw a book title and read "B.....U.....N.....N....Y, Bunny!"  At this rate, I wonder if he'll read before Liam?

This week and next bring alot of testing.  Yesterday Liam had an appointment with a neuropsychologist for IQ, achievement, and academic testing.  We were in her office from 9am until after 2pm.  I used to do similar testing with juveniles accused of crimes, and they eemed to have trouble being cooperative after 2 hours.  Liam is a rock star and is totally my hero.  The testing i usually done while the parent waits in the waiting room, but Liam insisted I stay in the room with him.  Do you know how hard it is to stay quiet and uninvolved in testing that YOU did professionally that is now being down with YOUR child?  I was emotionally exhausted after fighting all my instincts during the testing.

I meet with the neuropsychologist on Thursday to go over the results. I have some guesses about what are his strngths and weaknesses.  In all the memory sections, Liam did amazing.  I cannot impress how impressive his memory is, but I was amazed.  He also did well in sections that involved problem-solving and logic.  The other areas of strength I'd guess to be his vocabulary and the academic testing.  My guesses as far as areas of weakness?  Block designs or anything requiring visual-motor integration/skills and the verbal comprehension areas.

I am hopeful that we'll get useful information for school planning.

On Monday, Ben has his eligibility testing to see what school services he might need.  This testing will also determine whether Ben needs an IEP and continued services or if he'll graduate from Early Intervention.  Ben is such a tricky kid that I cannot even begin to guess how it might go.

Lots of waiting

I haven't blogged much because there isn't much about which to write. I am still obsessing about the correct school choice for Liam for next year. I am in touch with the preschool department of special education services in Alabama, and they remember me (hint: this isn't necessarily good as things were tense when we left). Liam's eligibility testing was two years ago this coming August and is good for another year, but they are saying they will need to re-test him. My anxiety is high gear because I realized that even without re-testing, Liam's eligibility score for speech and OT do not technically qualify him for services (in both cases his score is 1 or 2 points above the cut-off). Liam has received school ST and OT due to the fact that Alaska feels he is delayed, but I know Alabama won't interpret it so liberally.

So things are a waiting game at the moment.



I am waiting for March when Liam will have a private neuropsychological evaluation which I am hoping will guide educational planning.

I am waiting to come to terms with the decision of where to enroll Liam: public full day Kindergarten, private half day Kindergarten (and lose IEP services), or another year of preschool with 4 year olds.

I am waiting for March when Ben has his school eligibility testing. This will determine what type of school services Ben needs, and what type of battle I will be fighting for adequate services for Ben in Alabama.

I am also waiting for the new physical therapist to start at our therapy center as it has been recommended that BOTH boys have PT evaluations. Ben's OT has finally gotten him close enough to a swing to put him on it, and his core is so weak and his muscle tone so low that he falls right off. He cannot sit on a swing. I am pretty sure that Ben will need physical therapy to address this, and am hoping to get some peace of mind that Liam's low muscle tone can be addressed through extra-curriculur sport activities and private OT.

Kindergarten visit, take 2

I think the e-mail from Liam's teacher explains it all:

I was just going to email you!
He did great today! He came in talking about it and we went over everything with him. This time he did not have to leave his work unfinished (although we're going to teach him a file folder trick. It's for unfinished work. He can keep it safe so then he can finish it at the first opportunity). T went with him and the speech therapist and they took a visual timer with them (in case he was worried about when he'd be coming back :-) Since he was so upset last week, we tried to cover all of the things that could possibly turn into a problem; so today was only a five minute introduction to the class. They are doing this in Mrs. N's Kindergarten room. It's free play time during Liam's scheduled time in there so they can work on social skills. When Liam came back he was all smiles and both he and T seemed excited. Liam said they had fun toys and that he liked the rocks with leaves (fossils) and the dinosaurs the best :-) All of the children were in there (probably about 20 kiddos) but in the area where Liam was playing there were only about 3 others. His time in there will be expanded up to 30 minutes asap. I think this will be good for all of the boys going to Kindergarten. The OT may also work out some time with Liam and W on Wednesdays but first we'll see how the Mondays go.
I just love Liam's general attitude! He came in today loving everything! When he asked me what we'd learn about today I told him the planets and he said "I just love the planets, especially the Earth". Then he also said he loved everything else I brought up. It sure is wonderful to have a kiddo who's so positive all of the time!!
Thanks Michelle! Have a good evening.
Miss J

Big changes ahead for my big guy

I am still struggling with the Kindergarten decision and trying to find someone, anyone in Alabama to answer my questions about the transfer process from 3-5 to kindergarten and how private schooling affects the IEP.

In the meantime, we re-wrote Liam's IEP here in Alaska.  He has a great IEP team here and between his special ed teacher, his speech therapist, and the school OT, we came up with some great goals.  One of the goals is to expose him to the "open play" time in a kindergarten class.  Since Liam's special ed preschool class is located within an elementary school, there are kindergarten classes right down the hall.  The speech therapist suggested she could take him into a kindergarten class to help address his IEP goal of maintaining a conversation for 4 exchanges. 

Today is the big day!  Liam will be escorted into a kindergarten class so he can get exposure to more transitions and so he can practice conversation with some older and more advanced peers.  It will also provide us with some feedback about how he manages in that type of environment and will highlights any additional supports he might need in order to succeed in a kindergarten classroom.

In addition, in mid-March, Liam will have neuropsychological testing to look at areas of skills versus achievement.  I am hoping this testing will highlight splinter skills, as Liam often tests in the "normal" range while lacking age appropriate skills. 

Liam's IEP goals:
-Upon request, Liam can give his first and last name, school, grade level, name of teacher, parent's name's, parent's phone numbers, and address with 80% accuracy.
-Liam will participate in group activities by sharing ideas, making comments, and asking questions in 4/5 opportunities.
-Liam will use proper eye contact and body orientation (baseline is he only does 20% of the time)
-Liam will maintain a conversation for 4 communication exchanges.
-Liam will independently identify and use socially acceptable ways of managing stress and anger (teacher specifically mentioned this being useful in Kindergarten while waiting in line or transitions)
-Liam will remain on task and complete tasks in the same time frame as his peers by demonstrating sustained attention to task or teacher (biggest struggle at the moment)
-Liam will use a tripod grasp 80% of the time (baseline is 20%)
-Liam will use developmental appropriate drawn lines to draw a recognizable picture.
-When provided a completed model, Liam will manage his materials to complete a 3 step visual motor task.

Ben's developmental ped evaluation

The appointment was suprising for me and completely unexpected.  Beforehand, I said that I wouldn't be suprised if Ben was found to be on the autism spectrum and I wouldn't be surprised to find we wasn't.  The appointment had different results than I expected.....Ben was given a diagnosis of Early Childhood Developmental Delay.  The doctor explained that he doesn't believe Ben is on the autism spectrum and feels that his social skills are emerging.....BUT he sees 4 future results for Ben....option 1 is best case: we hit him with loads of early intervention and he outgrows his delays, option 2 is what the doctor suspects in most likely: Ben has a language delay (something along the lines of auditory processing disorder) which is interfering with his other areas of development, option 3: Ben will be diagnosed down the road with ADHD, and option 4: Ben will eventually be diagnosed on the autism spectrum if his emerging skills don't actually emerge.

The treatment plan the doctor laid out for us is private OT and speech on top of the early intervention.  He believes Ben would benefit from the special education preschool that Liam attends.  He wants Ben to receive ABA, but there is a catch....because Ben is not on the autism spectrum, Tricare will only cover 3 hours a week and it MUST be provided by a BCBA.  Liam's BCBA cannot provide those hours herself at this time.  We are still waiting for Tricare to make the referrals and Ben's PCM has not YET called us back, so at the moment, I am pushing ABA to the back burner.  Liam's BCBA feels Ben is on the spectrum and thinks we should get a second opinion.  I am struggling with feeling overwhelmed with all of this.  I never expected the doctor to find that Ben has 50% delays in multiple areas.  I don't exactly remember the numbers but will write a seperate post when his written report arrives.

There was good news.....The biggest is that the doctor absolutely thinks Ben should have allergy testing.  He was generally supportive of a theory of allergies and GI distress affecting development.  I noticed his library contained the book on special diets for special kids. :-)  The other news is that he told me that I should have a handicap parking tag.  He thinks this is for the saftey and well-being of other drivers, and not just to make my life easier.  I got it yesterday and haven't needed to use it yet, but that will likely change when the parking lots get snow covered.  Liam wasn't able to walk without falling last year.  This year that would mean carrying 70+ pounds of boys wearing winter gear through parking lots on either hip.  I am not sure I can physically manage that.  The last bit of good news is Ben's growth....36 inches tall and 28.5 pounds!!!!!!!!! 



Update on Ben's speech and school OT for Liam

Today was step 3 in Ben's developmental evaluation process.  We met with a SLP for a speech evaluation.  I had alot of anxiety going into this appointment and had 2 seperate nightmares about it last night.  Ben talked young and if you have been following us, you might have noted how advanced I used to talk about his speech being.  Sometime this year his speech development stalled out.  I was in denial for a long time, but at 2.5, he isn't regularly combing words and is relying on delayed echolalia and memorized pat phrases alot.  I just didn't want my fears confirmed.

This smiling little boy was NOT the Ben the SLP met today:

Ben really does not like coinfined spaces and when he saw the therapy room, he freaked out.  It resulted in a 30 minute screaming, crashing, flailing, flopping meltdown.  He eventually stopped and began to explore the room, but then he would see the door and start crying or screaming again.  The SLP asked me if I knew about behavior therapy and started explaining ABA to me. 

The end result is that Ben has an expressive language delay and needs more speech therapy. 

Our last appointment is next week and by the afternoon, we will know if Ben has a diagnosis.

In answering the questions for the SLP, the OT, and the psychologist about Ben's development, all 3 pointed out that I have structured his environment as if he were on the autism spectrum.  Because of Liam's needs, we do alot of visual schedules, transition activities/songs, and I limit the boys to situation that I know will be difficult for them.  I wonder how much worse his behavior would be if I didn't do these things.  Ben has attended therapy with Liam almost his whole life and I wonder whether he has benefited from it.  H is higher functioning than Liam, but is it because he was raised and benefited from the changes I made for Liam?

Speaking of Liam, I finally heard back from the school OT.  She is going to work with Liam on handwriting skills for 6 weeks and if he doesn't improve than she'll do a full assessment and add OT into his IEP.  She told me that Liam has alot of strengths, mainly his problem solving skills are extremely advanced.  She also pointed out the areas where it was clear that ABA has taught him skills....mainly in his execution of play skills and his ability to deal with change.  It was good to hear that as Liam appears so high functioning that I know people question why I have him in so many hours of therapy.  But the school OT confirmed that he blends in so well because he was taught skills through ABA that he wouldn't have figured out on his own.

In other fun news, Ben now climbs out of his crib, and climbs out as soon as he is put down for a nap.

Back to school

I survived the summer!  It was a serious question whether I would. ;-)  Back to school encompasses a different set of challenges and we will be busy the next few weeks settling into our new schedule. 

This year Liam will be going to TWO different preschools.  In the afternoons, he will go to the public special education preschool where he went last year.  The program is 5 days a week, for 2 hours a day.  In order to accomodate his crazy therapy schedule, he will miss class one afternoon a week so we can drive downtown for his private OT and speech therapies.  He started the special education preschool this week, and was so excited to be back.

Today is his 2nd day back and so far, so good.  I am adjusting to the new bus schedule as he gets picked up right when Ben goes down for a nap.  Liam is adjusting as well as his class this year is a totally new set of friends.  In addition, his teacher had surgery so he is starting off the year with a long-term substitute.  On top of that, the school's SLP retired, so he has a new speech teacher at school.

Today we met with his morning preschool which is at a local church.  This preschool will meet 3 mornings a week for 2 hours and 45 minutes.  The class will be quite larger than anything he has ever been in before.  When he attended Mother's Day Out in Alabama, his class was never larger than 6-8.  His special education class has always been 6 or fewer children.  This new preschool will be 15 kids and only 2 teachers.  The meeting today was with the director, the teacher, teacher's aide, Liam's BCBA (ABA program manager), Liam's ABA tutor, me, Dave, and the boys.  The plan is to have his ABA tutor there the whole time class is going on, unless she is sick.  She will manage any meltdowns and will help Liam navigate any social situations.  This school has a Montessori feel to it.  The classroom will have various stations and the play/work is child-initiated.  I think this set up will be perfect for my stubborn strong willed preschooler.

In addition to two preschools, Liam will be returning to his Tumbling class, have individual ABA, private speech and OT, and hopefully have time left over to just be a 4 year old.

Ben is not in school, but will also have a school based schedule.  Starting in September, Ben will be doing a social skills group that is sponsored by Early Intervention and held at the center where Liam does therapy.  The class will have 4 parts: tumbling (gross motor), creative movement (music), circle time (social skills), and snack (feeding/social skills).  Half of the class will be receiving services from Early Intervention and have some sort of delay and half the class will be typical developing toddlers.  I know Ben will love the tumbling and creative movement portions as it will be the same stuff Liam does during his class (which Ben imitates).  I know Ben will struggle in the circle time as I have not been able to get him to sit in any type of group circle, much less participate.  The instructors will be prepared for that though, so I am not too worried....I just know it will be challenging for him.

In addition, Ben will continue his OT through Early Intervention.  I talked with his therapist today and sometime in October, we will start discussing a transition plan.  Ben will either graduate from Early Intervention or transition to the school district as Liam did at age 3.  If he transitions to the school district, he might have a teacher work with him at the house, much like Early Intervention now or he could qualify for special education preschool like Liam.  They do not evaluate until 2 years 10 months, so we won't know placement until next year. 

I spoke with the developmental pediatrician's office and it was decided that Ben needs to be seen and it sounds like he will get in before the end of the calendar year.  Lately, Ben has been toe walking more and he seems to be shutting down a lot more.  He has recently become afraid of baths and just sits in the tub, staring down, scratching his legs until they bleed, and screaming if we present him with any toys.  When he isn't shut down due to overstimulation, he is delightful.  His tantrums are decreasing and he has started using deep breathing to control his emotions.  He is trying to communicate more every day.  He is not at all interested in children, but seeks out Liam to play with at every opportunity.  I have alot of anxiety and fears over his development.  We only recently began to see his sweet smiles and I want to make sure they don't disappear again.

Last Day of School

Yesterday was the last day of school.  This meant several things....a small party, saying good-bye to friends moving to Kinergarten, panic from Mommy about how to keep busy over the summer, getting a CD of pictures from the teacher, and Liam's progress report on his IEP.

This was my favorite photo of Liam from the year:

To show how much he changed, here he was the first day of school:



Now, let's talk about the IEP stuff....I'll put in photos for a visual break from all the depressing IEP stuff.  For comparison, this is the March progress report .

First goal is answering 2 "wh" questions about his school day.  At his last progress report, he could do this without any visual prompts 20% of the time.  With visual prompts, he could answer both questions 40% of the time.  This quarter showed slow progress.  He could answer both questions without a visual prompt 37.5% of the time and with a visual prompt 37.5% of the time. 

The second goal was Liam will manage his behavior in effective ways. In role play activities, Liam will learn, practice, and use strategies for dealing with stress in 3 out of 4 trials. Baseline is that stress causes Liam to become tearful and once upset can no longer communicate. His biggest problems are dealing with change.

Liam learned deep breathing and counting to 10 as strategies for dealing with stress.  Progress report shows that before learning these strategies, Liam was able to control his responses 40% of the time, and after learning the deep breathing and counting, he can control his response 55% of the time.  He does need verbal prompts to use the stress relieving techniques.

The third goal is that Liam would be able to potty independently.  Last quarter he kept his pull-up dry 87% of the time.  This quarter he was in underwear and remained dry 61% of the time.  That isn't a typo the numbers are moving in the wrong direction.  Quoting the teacher, "He has started to become very angry when he is asked to use the restroom.  He will sometimes hit the toilet paper dispenser or other objects in the bathroom." 



The fourth goal is Liam will put on outerwear with help with fasteners only in 4 out 5 opportunities presented.  The progress report says "Liam's largest obstacle to being able to dress independently is his distractibility.  He is so busy watching the other children that he forgets what he is supposed to be doing.  While getting dressed away from the other children, Liam can concentrate better and he is able to get on his snow pants, boots, hate, and mittens by himself.  He continues to need help with his coat and backpack."

The fifth goal is that Liam will communicate with adult and peers using a variety of modalities.  Liam will appropriately initiate communication with peers to initiate play, share materials, take turns without adult prompting in 3 out of 4 opportunities.  The progress report states that there are numerous whole-group lessons using a social story book addressing initiating play and joining play, and then Liam's class practice the skills in structured and less structured activities.  To quote "Liam willingly and delightfully participates, but continues to need adult prompts to initiate the play, appropriately.  He will state who is going to play with rather than ask if he can play.  He does not spontaneously intiate sharing materials (0%) in an unstructured activity without adult prompt but is very willing to do so with one.  He will share when asked by a peer to do so, as well.  He shares turns without prompting."

(Mommy and Ben are in this photo too...This was looking for the gingerbread baby during the Christmas party).

The sixth goal was that  Liam will increase expressive vocabulary skills.  When given a social situation, Liam will identify and name an appropriate matching emotion with 90% accuracy in 3 out of the 4 opportunities.  The progress report shows this is mastered.  With 100% accuracy, Liam can name happy, sad, mad/angry, surprised, and afraid with 100% accuracy on both real faces and pictures.  In addition when described a social situation, Liam can identify how someone would feel with 100% accuracy.

The seventh goal is Liam will maintain a conversation with adults and peers.  In unstructured settings, Liam will maintain verbal turn taking with adults by using voice and or gesture, by staying on topic, extending the conversation with a minimum of 1 comment or question, and waiting appropriately for communication turn.  In the 3rd quarter, Liam maintained verbal turn-taking in 33% of the opportunities.  The progress report states that Liam maintained verbal turn-taking in 40% of opportunities.  The report notes, "He is inconcsistent, which seems to be dependent on his emotional or physical set of the day.  Some days he is very connected, interactive, and responsive, others, he seems to be somewhere else."

I love the above photo as it shows the giant slide in the classroom that all the kids love.

So, the progress report didn't do much for my anxiety levels, but summer plans are slowly falling into place.  Unfortunately, most things doen't start until June, so for the next week I am solo parenting with few structured activities or options for such.

Backsliding has turned into a free fall

In the autism community, one of the most dreaded words is regression.  I won't call what we have here a regression, as Liam hasn't lost any skills, but behaviorally he seems to be spinning out of control these days.


It seemed to start in January with not wanting to go to school.  By February, he had a new ABA tutor due to his previous one having a baby.  He and his new tutor got into a dynamic of fighting for control, which led to Liam demonstrating his first ever aggressive behavior of kicking and throwing things.  That tutor left for medical reasons in March. This month was a bit chaotic.  Dave was gone for 11 days and Liam's new tutor started.  Dave came home, but was immediately put on a schedule of working 6pm until 6am.  He'd get home around 7:30am and would go right to sleep.  He was still working this schedule when my family arrived.  Liam loved having Yia Yia and Pappou here, but it did disrupt his normal schedule, and his sleep as he was sleeping on the boys' futon in Ben's room.  Last week Liam's new tutor quit to go home to care for a dying family member.

This week I got a note from Liam's special ed preschool teacher as she wants to address some problem behaviors.  They were all things we are seeing at home, but it worried me.  I have talked to the school about Liam's sensory seeking behaviors that are disruptive at home and his teacher has said that he doesn't engage in any disruptive behaviors at school.  So, if different problem behaviors were now bleeding over into school, then Liam is spiraling into problem behaviors in every area of his life.  In addition, school ends in mid-May and there are no preschool options for him here, so he'll be home with me until nearly September.  Did I mention that Dave is going out of town again right when this transition happens?

One of the teachers concerns is about stuttering.  About a month ago, I noticed that Liam has started stutter.  He has just caught up in speech, and now he is stuttering?  It really doesn't seem fair.  In any case, I hoped it was just a phase and ignored it.  Liam sees lots of professionals every week and no one seemed to notice it so I thought maybe he was just experiencing some anxiety at home.  Well, Liam is now stuttering at school.  For some reason, his special ed teacher asked me how I am handling it.  I pushed back and asked her to speak with his speech therapist at school and get suggestions as I am no expert in speech-language pathology.  In the meantime, I talked with Liam's private speech therapist.  She got a chance to observe it and said he tends to stutter on "k" sounds like on the word "can."  She said it is a common sound to stutter on and she doesn't think it is related to stress.  Her suggestion is to say the word with him to help him get it out.

Another of the teacher's concerns is that Liam is exhibiting aggressive behavior related to pottying.   He first did it this weekend while Dave had him pottying.  He threw a bowl of fresh pee across the bathroom, splattering pee everywhere.  Since then, he has fought and will kick and hit various items in the bathroom while urinating or while refusing to use the potty.  He is doing the same thing at school. In addition, he had 4 accidents in 3 days....4 accidents in 6 hours of school.  If he attended a traditional preschool, he would be expelled for having 3 accidents in a month, so 4 in less than a week is not acceptable, especially if I want him attending a community preschool next year.  Add to that the aggressive behavior and Liam's pottying process has become disruptive.  The teacher again asked how I was handling it.  It usually results in a time out and once when he behaved this way mid-lunch (actually he hadn't had a single bite yet), I took his food away.  Aggression for any reason is not something I will tolerate.  There has got to be a better way to manage it then what I have done so far, so again, I asked her opinion.  In the short term, I am thinking of just putting him back in pull ups as he is having at least 5 accidents a day anyway, in addition to the aggressive behavior when he does potty.

The teachers final concern was about Liam's session placement next year.  Currently, he is in the AM preschool class.  His classmates are awesome; Liam is the only one on the spectrum and he gets lots of exposure to appropriate social behavior. However, most of his class is leaving at the end of the year, and we don't know what next year's class will be like.  I asked for Liam to be moved to the PM session next year.  The main reason for this is so he can attend a community preschool.  I found a wonderful parent co-op program at a church in our small town, and Liam visited the class last week and fit into the program beautifully.  It is Montessori-based learning and has two teachers plus a parent volunteer and the class size is small, comparatively with only 12-14 children.  In any case, Liam's teacher is concerned about Liam being exposed next year to two children in the PM class with behavior problems.  However, if he remains in the AM class, he cannot attend a community preschool with typical peers.....and there is no guarantee that the morning class won't have a new student or two with behavior problems.

While I was writing this blog post, I heard from Liam's teacher who confirmed that Liam attending a community preschool is a very good idea so they'll make the afternoon placement work.  :-)

The other problem behaviors we have seen recently are sensory seeking, and thankfully, these haven't happened at school.  He will scratch himself until he bleeds or pick his nails almost down to the quick.  He has started doing sensory behaviors at the dinner table--mainly clapping his hands in front of others faces (like an inch away) or just sitting there and shaking his head side to side as fast as he can.  He will do this until excused from the table and seems completely fine with eating once a day or even not at all during the day.  He has always engaged in lot of crashing behavior, but he is doing it more, laying on the carpet and pushing himself along it, crashing into furniture, etc.

Have I mentioned that I am feeling burned out?  Of course, today getting on the bus, he spontaneously called out "I love you, Mommy" and I remembered that he is worth all the heartache, but I am feeling raw and tired and just overwhelmed these days.

Progress Report

Liam came home today with his 3rd quarter progress report.  It tracks his progress towards his IEP goals.  I don't know if it was the fact I have been awake since 4:40am when Dave was called into work and Ben woke up....or if it is the fact that I came down with the cold virus circulating our house, but I am feeling emotional about how far Liam still has to go.  It might be that Liam made so much progress with his last progress report (blogged about here: January progress report ) that it was hard to get the reminder that he does need extra help.

First goal: Liam will communicate using verbal means.  Given daily picture cues, Liam will respond to 2 simple "wh" questions about activities he did at school.  Baseline is that he cannot do this at all.
Progress: 20% of the time could not answer either question even with a picture cue. 40% of the time he could answer both questions with both picture cues. 20% of the time he could answer both questions with just a picture cue to one of them. 20% of the time he needed no picture cue to answer both questions.

Second goal: Liam will manage his behavior in effective ways. In role play activities, Liam will learn, practice, and use strategies for dealing with stress in 3 out of 4 trials.  Baseline is that stress causes Liam to become tearful and once upset can no longer communicate.  His biggest problems are dealing with change.
Progress: Liam has learned to ask for help which keeps him from getting behind his classmates which causes him stress.  Next Liam will learn to count to 10 when upset.

Third goal: Liam will be able to use the restroom independently. Baseline is that Liam was remaining dry 87% of the time at school but had difficulty with his pants and other steps in using the restroom.
Progress: Liam was able to complete the toileting routine independently (remaining dry, pulling pants down, pulling pants back up, and washing his hands) 82% of the time.

Fourth goal: Liam will put on outerwear with help with fasteners only in 4 out 5 opportunities presented. Baseline is that Liam was able to do this before Christmas break but now gets distracted and then when he sees his classmates leaving to get on the bus becomes very upset and starts crying.
Progress: The teacher is having Liam dress in an area away from the other children in order to limit distractions. Even with this, it is difficult at times to get his attention. He knows the order of which clothing goes first and can almost dress himself independently.

Fifth goal: Liam will communicate with adult and peers using a variety of modalities.  Liam will appropriately initiate communication with peers to initiate play, share materials, take turns without adult prompting in 3 out of 4 opportunities. Baseline is that Liam makes verbal attempts to play using demands only with prompting.
Progress: Liam does well in this area.  He is good at initiating play and/or going along with what someone else is playing.  Liam does not like to play alone so he is always with a peer. However, once play is initiated, Liam tends to play in a more parallel fashion.  It should be noted that Liam is very encouraging to others and roots them on during games.  He is very sweet and is always a good, supportive friend.

Sixth goal: Liam will increase expressive vocabulary skills.  When given a social situation, Liam will identify and name an appropriate matching emotion with 90% accuracy in 3 out of the 4 opportunities.  Baseline is that Liam was unable to identify how a peer was feeling when she was crying.
Progress: Liam can name happy, mad, and sad in a picture.  He can identify happy and sad on peers' faces with 70% accuracy in 2 out of 4 opportunities.

Seventh goal: Liam will maintain a conversation with adults and peers.  In unstructured settings, Liam will maintain verbal turn taking with adults by using voice and or gesture, by staying on topic, extending the conversation with a minimum of 1 comment or question, and waiting appropriately for communication turn.  The baseline is 0% in a structured play situation using a script.
Progress: Liam maintained verbal turn-taking in 33% of the opportunities.  It is difficult to maintain a conversation with Liam because he does not make eye contact regularly so it is difficult to know who he is talking to.  At other times, he becomes distracted and just stops talking and/or answering questions.

IEP meeting

This week we had an IEP meeting for Liam.  Even though his IEP was only written in late August (and re-done in September), he needed a new one as he has made so much progress.  Dave is out of town, so I was on my own for the meeting.  A friend watched Ben, even though he was sick, and Liam played while I met with his teacheer and the school SLP (speech language pathologist).

Liam's speech tests at age level now, but his generalization of language is still lacking.  This means he has the tools but struggles with application.  Liam still has motor planning difficulties, which is affecting potty training and his ability to put on his own outerwear.  Liam has sensory procesing difficulties which means he is easily overwhelmed in a school setting.  The school is making accomodations for this by doing things like putting up a binder in front of Liam while he colors so he has less sensory input or taking him to a quiet area of the classroom to put his outerwear on.  Liam struggles with flexibility in a school setting, and this leads to alot of social anxiety and tears when things go differently than Liam's expectation.  Just hearing this breaks my heart.

One of his goals is to learn to take the perspective of others and identify simple emotions.  The SLP says this will take several years, but it is important to work towards this as it affects reading comprehension in later years.

Another goal is answering "wh" questions.  Right now, Liam cannot answer questions.  He used to echo the question, but now he just says "I don't know" for everything.

There will be a goal of working to learn anxiety management tools like breathing or counting.  The teacher wants Liam to learn to recognize the signs that he is building up to a meltdown so he can attempt to remove himself or calm down before he enters a full blown meltdown.  Once he is in meltdown mode, he cannot handle any other sensory stimuli (like having someone talk to him, hug him, or interact with him at all).  Thiss is another long term goal.

He has several goals towards learning how to engage peers in play (asking instead of demanding) and sustaining a conversation.  He will continue to work towards potty training and learning to dress himself.

Overall, it was a very good meeting.  Liam has made so much progress.  As a mother, I still felt emotional that Liam is still so different from his peers and that the world is so anxiety-producing for Liam.  I just want him to be happy.

Progress Report from school

Liam brought home a progress report from school this week.  We were supposed to re-write his IEP this week, but it was re-scheduled for two weeks from now (which means I need to scramble for childcare or bring the boys with me as Dave will be out of town).  The progress report he brought home shows how far he has come on his current IEP.

First goal: Liam will be able to pull his pants up and down as part of the toileting process.

Progress: In August, Liam could not do this at all.  In October, Liam could pull his pants down 100% of the time but could not pull them up at all.  Now, Liam can pull his pants back up 37% of the time.  He does better with pants with zippers compared to elastic waistbands (which goes against conventional wisdom).

Second goal: Liam will accomplish potty training.

Progress: In August, Liam never indicated he had to pee but would pee if trips were scheduled.  In October, Liam remained dry all day at school 20% of the time.  Now, Liam remains dry at school 55% of the time.

Third goal: Liam will verbally indicate when he needs to use the restroom and will independently access bathroom needs (flushing, washing hands, etc). 

Progress:  In August, Liam could not do this at all.  In October, Liam had not accomplished any of this.  Now, Liam verbally indicates the need to use the bathroom before going 33% of the time.

Fourth goal: Liam will engage in age appropriate activities with peers.

Progress: In August, Liam never engaged in pretend play with peers and had difficulty with turn taking.  In October, Liam had no problem taking turns, but never initiated play.  He only engaged in pretend play in 16% of the measured opportunities.  Now, he engages in pretend play with peers in 100% of the measured opportunities and seeks out friends to play with.  This goal has been accomplished.

Fifth goal: Liam will participate in non-preferred activities for 10 minutes duration.

Prrogress: In August, Liam was noted to have a limited attention span.  By October, he was engaging for over 10 minutes in 85% of the opportunities.  Now, the teacher feels this goal has been accomplished.

Sixth goal: Liam will communicate with peers and adults non-verbally and verbally.

Progress:  In August, Liam seldonmly returned greetings.  In October, he responded to greetings 50% of the time and initiated verbal exchangely occasionally.  Now, he verbally interacts continually. :-)  This goal has been accomplished,

I believe the road ahead will be less focus on language and more focus on social interaction, as well as continued focus on potty training and adaptive skills.

In other news, I toured a preschool yesterday.  They are already full for next year (!!!!!!!!) but I will be placing Liam on the waiting list.  My hope is for him to attend the "regular" preschool in the morning and continue special education in the afternoon.  There is a chance that the school I saw would have space for him in the 3 year old class next year (if he were 12 days younger, they would automatically place him in the 3 year old class, but with an August 20th birthday he would technically qualify for the 4 year old).  Given his delays, I wouldn't have any problem with him going into the younger class, but I'd prefer him to be in the 4 year old class.  The school requires once a month parent involvement which means they provide daycare for Ben and I get to assist Liam's class.  I think this school would be a great fit for us, so please cross your fingers they can find space for my special boy.  Of course, it means I have until August to get him fully potty trained, so cross fingers for that as well.