Mr. anti-establishment

Ben refuses to be categorized.  Maybe it is the long hair, but he has been doing it his whole life.  As a baby, there was debate about whether he had colic or reflux....Then reflux or GERD....then GERD or failure to thrive.  No one has ever been able to put their finger on Ben.

At the moment, the only thing everyone agrees on is that he has Sensory Processing Disorder, but that is old news.

After his developmental pediatrician evaluation, he got 3 diagnoses....The developlmental ped says he has Early Childhood Developmental Delays, which encompassed the two other diagnoses: Sensory Processing Disorder from the OR and Mixed Expressive-Receptive Language Disorder from the speech therapist.

In following the recommendations, we have started OT and speech.  Two weeks ago, Ben's private speech therapist discharged him from private speech saying that his delays are not severe enough to require private speech.  That same week the teacher of his social skills group asked me if Ben had ANY words as she never heard him talk.  Those are vastly different opinions, aren't they?  When Liam turned 3, we were actually told the same thing....he had caught up and didn't require private speech anymore....Now at 4.5, he has more speech goals than ever and no one is arguing that he is not delayed or that he communicates as well as his peers.

I am not sure what I should do next. Ben is scheduled to be evaluated by the district in March to determine whether he'll require school services.  I wonder which Ben they will get on evaluation day?  The happy, energetic, attempting to socialize Ben or the fearful, clingy, screaming, shutting down Ben?

Leaps forward....mostly good but with a dose of defiance

I figured I'd share more photos taken by S. Jordan Photography as part of an update on Liam.

At one point, most of Liam's porfessional photos looked like this:

But in the last year, he has learned to look at the camera and smile and show off his beautiful eyes.

During my last update on Liam, he was in the middle of a huge regression and I am happy to say that it is over.

One of the most exciting things for me is that he is about 90% potty trained.  He is having accidents about once or twice a week instead of several times a day.  He can pee standing up and is requiring less assistance in the potty.  He is not at all night trained and still soaks a big boy pull-up (Good Nites) and even pees through to his bed most nights.  It is really common for kids on the spectrum to not be night trained until they are teen-agers and I am definitely thinking it will be years before Liam is ready for that step.  Thankfully, it is not disruptive to social interactions at this point in time.  Even more exciting is that I haven't had to buy pull-ups (except for the Good Nites) for months and am spending less and less time helping Liam potty.  I am pretty sure that he will have no problems managing at the chuch preschool in the Fall.

Equally exciting is Liam's language as he has made huge leaps.  He is answering questions on a more regular basis, asking questions, and even sustaining one or two back and forth bits on one topic.  After waiting nearly 4 years, I can have short conversations with my sensitive guy.  For the most part, I love hearing how his mind works and it gives me alot of hints to what sensory input he is needing at the moment or when he is building up to a meltdown.  The ability to communicate has made parenting Liam fun and rewarding.

With typical language comes typical behavior of 3 year olds that talk.  With Liam's language and social delays, we had no terrible twos....or at least nothing like what I saw my friend's experience.  Liam's newfound ability to communicate means a new found ability to talk back, question mom's authority, and just be downright contrary.  Liam has always been spirited and willful and has alot of issues related to wanting to be in control.  This has made for some tense times at our house.

I have found that this level of language requires a whole different set of parenting skills.  I am behind the ball as parents usually have a year or so while their children go through speaking phrases, simple sentences, answering simple questions, and finally sustaining conversation.  Liam did all of this much faster and my parenting hasn't yet caught up to his skill level.  Liam likes to contradict choices I give him and tell me "No Mommy those are NOT my choices.  Stop saying those choices!" while crying and then adding "My choices are to eat an ice pop (at 8pm) or watch Diego."

Liam is also exhibiting lots of silly and boy-ish behavior.....non-stop potty words through dinner time, yelling inappropriate things, talking about people's butts, giggling at farts.  I am really feeling out-numbered these days.

Liam still has delays and all this progress has brought with it a rash of sensory seeking behavior.  These days he is putting everything in his mouth.  People always worry about small items near Ben, but he never puts things in his mouth, but yesterday I had to pull out a Thomas the train size barrel from his mouth.  I have given him things to chew on and he keeps getting ice to chew on all day.....but it isn't enough.  He has started clicking his teeth for hours a day, chewing on his fingers, and generally behaving like a 6 month old in the middle of teething.  He has also been seeking out lots of crashing behavior but thankfully it has been nice out so we spend lots of time outdoors.

Socially, he is doing better, and seeks out kids to play with often.  His interactions are off quite a bit still, and it interferes a bit with kids wanting to play with him.  He doesn't make eye contact and generally is looking at the ground while talking and has a tendency to either shout or whisper.  He wants freedom at playgrounds so he spends quite a bit of time out of earshot from me so I don't always know how he is being treated but I always note when kids walk away or exclude him by body language.  Yesterday though, he met a 5 year old girl and they played together for about an hour.  It gave me hope that he will be just fine socially.

Ben has figured out movement in one direction

Yesterday at 10 weeks, 2 days Ben rolled from his belly to his back. Being 2nd born has many disadvantages, one is that I had already been waiting for this moment for 9 days as Liam rolled from belly to back at 9 weeks. When Liam rolled to his back, it was by accident during his 2 month well baby visit and the surprise of it made him cry. He repeatedly did it at home, and it took a good bit of time before it stopped scaring him. Ben had a much different reaction. Like Liam, he threw his head first (easy to do since both of their heads are so large and are hard to hold up while on their belly), and then smiled as I cheered him on. Very slowly, he rotated his hips so he was on his back.

I know this is the beginning of the end. His first purposeful movement means it won't be long before he figures out how to move away from me. In the meantime, I'll take my Ben cuddles as much as I can get them.

Life with a toddler or as Liam says "No! No! No! NO!"

If you haven't heard from me lately, it is because Liam doesn't give me much free time these days. He has transformed before my eyes from a cuddly baby to an opinionated toddler. He has gotten very fast when he walks and is hard to capture on video or camera. He usually runs toward me wanting to see the camera and play with it. His newest word is "no" and we hear it constantly these days. He tells lambie no when they are in the crib together, he tells me no as I change him, and he says no constantly in the car since he'd rather be running around somewhere. Of course, Dave laughs at me when I say that I don't know where he got his strong-willed, stubborn behavior from.



Here is a video of Liam trying to climb over the baby gate:

Here are two videos of Liam playing on the screened in porch:

The difference 6 days makes.....

Basically, 6 days after taking his first steps, Liam is a pro at walking. Since he figured out how to stand up on his own before he figured out to walk, he quickly put two and two together and learned how to stand back up after falling. He doesn't crawl much anymore, although he still falls a bit....but he just stands back up and keeps on going. He has even started walking in shoes. Below are some videos of him walking today while dragging around stuffed animals.

First steps

Liam began army crawling at 8 months, pulling up at 9 months, hands and knees crawling at 10 months, cruising at 11 months, but has been hesitent to take that plunge into independent walking. He took his very first steps by himself on October 15th at Kindermusik class, but showed no interest in repeating it. Then this weekend, he decided to finally show Daddy he could walk, so that Daddy could see before he left for a two week trip to Germany. Here are two videos are our big boy officially "toddling."

The second video is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q_zYPK6vGo