Social Breakthroughs

Liam continues to develop by leaps and bounds and amaze everyone who meets him.  We have had two social breakthroughs recently.

First, Liam has a female friend from school....one he made on his own without my help.  It is reported she saves seats for him at lunch and she has gotten him to play Barbies.  I took them to the ballet and to say they were adorable to watch is an understatement.

 

 

Second, Liam initiated a conversation about something that interested me.  He tends to talk "at" you and not much wait for you to respond.  He also has tendency to ask repetitive questions and to focus on only things that interest him.  I was shocked Friday morning when we had the following conversation:

 

Liam: "How was your beer tasting last night, Mommy?"

 

Me: "It was a wine tasting, not beer.  I had a wonderful time.  Thank you for asking."

 

Liam: "How many wines did you try? 5?"

 

Me: "No, I tried 7 wines."

 

Liam: "Oh, 7 wines!  Which one was your favorite?"

 

Me: "My favorite was the Pouilly-Fuissé."

Liam: "Oh, the Pouilly-Fuissé (I giggled inside as he said that like he knew what I was talking about).  Was it the number 5 wine?"

Me: "No, it was the 2nd wine."

Liam: "Well, we should buy some if it was your favorite."

Me: "That is a wonderful idea and I did bring some home so Daddy could try it."



Ben is now a preschooler

Ben started preschool yesterday; he is axcited to be at school, just like Liam.

He ran into the room and the only tears were from me.  We are lucky to have him at the same school and the same teacher that Liam had at age 2.

This is a huge milestone for me.....I have free time for the first time since Liam was born!!!!!!!!!

A first for our family and Ben's language development

Ben has graduated from physical therapy.  This might sound like a small thing or even an expected thing.  For most kids, they start a therapy, catch up, and then no longer need the therapy.  That has not been our experience, however.  Both boys started Early Intervention, only to transfer to the school district at age 3 (unlike many friends whose children caught up through early intervention).  Liam has done OT and ST for yeaars and while he no longer keeps falling behind, he still needs those services.

Ben started PT for toe walking and with a limited range of motion in his ankles which made walking with flat feet difficult.  Early Intervention had worked on this with him since November 2010, and the toes walking was getting worse, not better.  Ben's PT set a goal of him having a 10-15 degree rangle of motion in both ankles, and his range of motion is 19 degrees in one and 21 degrees in the other!!!!!!! 

I was worried that Ben would ended up with casts to prevent the toe walking, but we just avoided that.  As a HUGE aside, I am down one appointment to run the boys too.

See Ben's hands there?  That is the startle reflex babies have to swinging or unexpected motion. Ben STILL does this.

Language wise, Ben is doing amazing.  Three HUGE leaps happened in the last couple weeks.  First, Ben has added pronouns, and has started to say "I do [blank]" rather than "Ben jump" or some other simple phrase spoken in the 3rd person.  Second, Ben has started speaking in sentences FINALLY. Previously, he spoke mostly in 2 to 3 word phrases but we are starting to hear sentences.  He doesn't have much fluency and I find him very hard to understand, but the sentences give me more context.  Third, he can answer questions.  Liam still has trouble with questions.  Ben might not need speech therapy when we arrive in Alabama.

OT wise, Ben still has needs.  He can now remove socks and a jacket, but cannot remove any other clothing.  He still cannot put any clothing on.  Sensory wise, he tends to be quite defensive and struggles with sensory integration a lot.

Big boy bed, take 2....and car seat news

With all of our sleep problems, I let my boys stay in cribs as long as possible.  Liam slept in a crib until right before he turned 3, and then spent a month plus sleeping in a pack-n-play as we moved from Alabama to Alaska.  He moved into a big boy bed at 37 months and the transition was so smooth.  He even stayed in his bed every morning until I got him for about 8 months.  We don't have that issue any longer. ;-)

We had movers this week as it takes so long for stuff to move between Alaska and Alabama.  Then we got loaner furniture from base (something that is available at OCONUS bases).  I suggested we leave Ben's crib here in Alaska as it now has duct tape on one leg and needs to be thrown out.  We got Ben a single bed and put Liam's old rails up. 

When asked which bed, he wanted to sleep in, he pointed to the bed and said "that one."  At 38 months, he had no problems with this transition:

I think Ben looks so much like Liam here.  Ben is 38 months now, and here was Liam in his bed at 37 months:

Liam saw Ben's photo and even thought it was him......LOL!

In other news, I turned Ben forward facing at 37 months as he is now 34 pounds, and I didn't want to be stuck with the wrong carseat during the move if he went over to 35 pounds.  I am proud that Liam was rear-facing for 34 months and Ben was rear-facing for 37, nearly 38 months.  Liam meets the minimum criteria for a booster seat, but he will be 5 point harnessed for awhile yet.  I don't expect removing his 5 point harness (both seats we have convert from 5 point narnesses to high back booster) until he is 6 years old.

I am hoping we can trash the crib this weekend.  I have ZERO angst about leaving the baby stage behind.  I am loving the boys being able to talk and follow directions.  The baby stage with both boys was full of so many challenges and so little sleep that I don't miss those days at all.

Did I just say I am happy in THIS moment?  I did, and it feels good to be here.



Toothless wonder

Most kids lose their first teeth somewhere around age 5-6, so I was shocked when Liam told me that he had a loose tooth on Wednesday.  I checked in his mouth and found one tooth that was loose and another that was incredibly loose.  I checked with friends with older kids and they assured me that teeth could be loose for weeks or months before falling out.  I ordered a book about the tooth fairy and a tooth holder from Amazon, and figured it would get here in plenty of time.

Except it didn't.....48 or so hours later and we had this:

We were at dinner and Liam was struggling to eat his hamburger, so I cut it up for him and Dave was feeding it for him.....when Dave watched Liam's tooth literally roll out of the spot toward his tongue.  Our waitress fetched us a magic tooth fairy container (i.e. lidded solo cup):

First tooth gone at 4 years and 9 months old and proving yet again that Liam will follow no one pre-determined developmental chart.

And this was some time ago....and now one of those two little teeth are gone:

Liam is all done with preschool

Today is Liam's last day of preschool ever.  I try not to focus on that too much because I get all emotional just thinking about it.  This year Liam attended two preschools: Ravenwood (where he received special education services) and Lions & Lambs, which was a typical, private preschool taught Montesorri style.  Liam graduated Lions and Lambs last Thursday:

Yesterday was his end of year party for Ravenwood and his last afternoon is today.  We get one more special bit of time with Miss Jerri tomorrow and I hope to grab a picture of him with her as I forgot to do that yesterday.

So how much has Liam changed over his time in preschool?

September 2009, age 2, first day at Gracepointe:

I remember shaking and crying because as I told Liam that I would be leaving at school, I could see the blank look on his face and I knew he had no clue what I was telling him.  I felt sick walking out of the room and not knowing whether he'd be scared or confused.  That first year, I feel my heart racing while he was at schol and would count down the minutes until he was back safe in my arms.  Thankfully, he had two amazing and wonderful teachers, and it looks like one of the teachers will be Ben's teacher next year.

September 2010, age 3, first day taking the bus to Ravenwood:

He started at Ravenwood within days of arriving in Alaska.  He was the youngest in his class and all the other kids seemed to talk so much and be so confident.  When I asked him if he wanted to take the bus, he just echoed "bus" and I didn't know if that meant yes or no.  He loved Ravenwood and we saw amazing progress over that year.

August 2011, age 4, first day at Ravenwood:

I was shocked when he returned to Ravenwood as he suddenly was one of the class leaders.  It was such a change from last year.  In addition, I worried about sending him to Lions and Lambs, but he fit in and made friends.  We even cut back on ABA hours as his simply didn't need his tutor there the whole time.

May 2012:

Milestones, testing, spring break, oh my

This week was Liam's spring break from school.  Dave was acting SJA at work, so the boys and I had a quiet week with playdates with friends and battling colds.  Changes in schedule often lead to crazy behavior, but this week wasn't bad, all in all.  Last week Ben was in the emergency room for his 3rd head injury and had to get a staple, but it healed quickly and the staple came out this week.

This week brought 2 big milestones for Ben:

He is finally telling me that he loves me! Surprisingly for a kid on the spectrum, Liam reached this milestone when he was younger than Ben.  Ben has been walking around using a delayed echolalia phrase from a Christmas episode of Blue's Clue and anytime we read a book declares, "I love this book SO MUCH!"  He recently started saying he loves everything.....except for me.  So hearing "I love you, Mama" was the sweetest sound in the world. 

Ben is spelling his name!  He still cannot answer the question "What is your name?" but randomly declares "B.......E.......N, Ben!"  He also can spell a couple words by memory and this morning saw a book title and read "B.....U.....N.....N....Y, Bunny!"  At this rate, I wonder if he'll read before Liam?

This week and next bring alot of testing.  Yesterday Liam had an appointment with a neuropsychologist for IQ, achievement, and academic testing.  We were in her office from 9am until after 2pm.  I used to do similar testing with juveniles accused of crimes, and they eemed to have trouble being cooperative after 2 hours.  Liam is a rock star and is totally my hero.  The testing i usually done while the parent waits in the waiting room, but Liam insisted I stay in the room with him.  Do you know how hard it is to stay quiet and uninvolved in testing that YOU did professionally that is now being down with YOUR child?  I was emotionally exhausted after fighting all my instincts during the testing.

I meet with the neuropsychologist on Thursday to go over the results. I have some guesses about what are his strngths and weaknesses.  In all the memory sections, Liam did amazing.  I cannot impress how impressive his memory is, but I was amazed.  He also did well in sections that involved problem-solving and logic.  The other areas of strength I'd guess to be his vocabulary and the academic testing.  My guesses as far as areas of weakness?  Block designs or anything requiring visual-motor integration/skills and the verbal comprehension areas.

I am hopeful that we'll get useful information for school planning.

On Monday, Ben has his eligibility testing to see what school services he might need.  This testing will also determine whether Ben needs an IEP and continued services or if he'll graduate from Early Intervention.  Ben is such a tricky kid that I cannot even begin to guess how it might go.

Speech milestone

Ben is saying his name!  He cannot answer the question "What is your name?" but while playing occasionally randomly touches his chest declaring "I'm Ben!"  It very likely is just delayed echolalia as that is the phrase I use.  I touch my chest and say "Mama" then touch Ben's chest and sai "and I'm Ben" so he'll learn to associate I with Ben.  But he is finally using his name.  Now to just get him to use it when prompted for it. 

Sadly, I was looking for when Liam started saying his name and cannot find it on the blog.  I think Liam was saying his name shortly after turning 2 (so eariler than Ben).  Dave deployed when Liam was 26 months and I think Liam was calling himself "yema" somewhere around that time (either shortly before or shortly after).  Around 2.5 (the age Ben is now), Liam started calling himself "Lema" and that stuck until after he started his special education preschool.  I think it was somethime in November of last year he started saying "Lium" and he still says it "My name is Leeeeeeeee-UM."  Ben has been calling Liam "Meme" for about a year now and refuses to refer to him as anything else.

Half birthday for my half pint

I will use a Little House on the Prarie reference any chance I can get.  I love those books, and miss the show.

Today Ben is 2 and 1/2 and I REALLY need to stop calling him "baby" Ben.  Liam has at least taken to calling him Benny.

At 2.5, Ben is about 36 inches tall and weighs about 27-28 pounds.  That means in the last year he has grown 5 inches and gained 5 pounds, which is really a HUGE growth rate at this age.  He is tiny no longer and is catching up to his peers.  His height is around 50th percentile and his weight is around 30th percentile. 

Over the last year, he has clearly lost his "baby" look and now resembles a toddler.  This was him at 18 months:

Even so, he still seems so much younger and smaller than Liam did at 2.5 years old (Liam was 32 pounds and 38 inches so he is smaller, but Ben also just seems younger than Liam at that age).

Liam at 2.5 years old:



And thinking back to when Ben was 6 months.....well, I have blocked most of it out, but this seems a lifetime ago:

Really, the only think I recognize there is the giraffe which still rarely leaves Ben's hands.

At 2.5 years old, you:
LOVE your giraffe
think Mommy can solve all problems
cry for Liam anytime we drop him off at school or therapy
climb everything--onto counters and tables, onto window sills, out of your crib, onto changing table
hide your face if I tell you that you are being naughty
prefer showers to bubble baths
still spit out food or gag on it
walk on your toes about 85% of the time, even while running and jumping on the trampoline
recognize lower and upper case letters
can count to 20
this WEEK said your name for the very first time!!!!!!!!! :-)
jump with two feet off the ground
walk a balance beam
go up and down stairs without holding a railing
climb into your carseat

It is amazing what a night off does for your soul

Last week I was feeling pretty overwhelmed, especially by Tuesday (if not evident by my last two blog posts).  Since then something amazing happened, I got a night off.  My first ever....in the last 4 years I have been a single parent for about 16 months, maybe a bit longer.  In those 16 months, I only had less than a month of help, and it was from my Dad which meant help in running errands, not with the boys or cooking or cleaning.  In addition, I have single handedly dealt with hundreds of hours of medical and therapy appointments, 2 surgeries alone, and too many sleepless nights to count.  Everyone deserves some time off, but mine was fairly overdue, I'd guess.

As luck would have it, I caught a cold, complete with fever, and Ben was sick.  But our sitter that we trust enough to leave with the boys overnight moves this weekend, so it was our only chance.  We left the boys with her and headed to an Oktoberfest.  A few German beers later and after Dave and I turned "Pass the Pigs" on my iPhone into a drinking game, I was feeling fine.  Our sitter texted that the boys were asleep, and her parents were two houses away, and I felt totally relaxed.  We stayed up late talking to other couples we met that night.  We woke at 7am (a miracle in itself) and it was our sitter that dealt with Ben being awake in the middle of the night.  We watched TV in the morning without requests for cartoons, and then had a lovely quiet breakfast.  On the drive home, we even saw a bear.

Ben did fine with our time away, which surprised me as he is so clingy to me.  Liam did not do so well.  He was very anxious that night but settled with a promise to bake cookies in the morning.  He was very hyper in the morning, but the cookies distracted him.  After we returned, he velcroed himself to me, sitting on my lap and often touching my face with both of his hands.  The rest of the weekend were full of Liam meltdowns and he was pretty worked up all day on Sunday.

After relaxation, I have some things to share and thoughts on recent happenings with the boys....

On Wednesday, Ben had his 2nd appointment in the process with the developmental pediatrician.  This time we saw a psychologist for a developmental screening.  She saw pretty typical behavior for Ben--there were times he engaged with her (played catch with a ball) and times he was clearly overwhelmed (at least 5-6 times engaged in repetitive head banging for example).  She doesn't think Ben is on the spectrum, but she is NOT who makes the final diagnosis.  She did an autism screening (the CARS) but I don't yet know the results of his developmental screenings.  Next week he has his speech evaluation, and then he sees the developmental pediatrician for the last appointment on October 10th.

I am overwhelmed not by a diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder but by the sheer volume of interventions I will be managing and running both boys to and from.  I don't feel it is an option to do less intervention because of how far Liam has come; it proves intervention at a young age produces good results.  I have been pushing myself, thinking the crazy therapy schedule would be over when Liam starts kindergarten but it won't be until Ben starts kindergarten.  And 2 years in, I am just now being told that Liam needs physical therapy.  It was alot for one week.

I am hoping this week is better.  Today for the first time ever, Liam asked me 3 questions in a row.  He has never stayed on topic for more than one turn before.  I wish I remember what the questions were about but it was before my morning coffee.  Have I mentioned that Ben is waking nightly again and is no longer napping?

Bit by bit leaving the baby years behind

This is as close as I will get to a baby for a very long time:

Last year we made a decision to not have anymore babies.  At the time we decided that, Ben was 18 months old and was not yet sleeping through the night.  It was nearly 2011 and I hadn't slept through the night in nearly 4 years.  Dave was particularly done; he said living with Liam and Ben was more stressful than living in Kabul.  Dave was very done.  I knew I wanted another baby but only if it came with a 100% guarantee of no reflux or colic and I knew sleep would be better than it was with either of my boys.

Making the decision to be done changes your outlook as every milestone is a step away from babyhood.  I went through Ben's first year and a half just surviving and not cherishing any moments as I thought we'd be done the babyhood path again.  Since then, I am holding onto eveery moment as I will never again have a little one.



I am mostly happy to say good-bye to the non-stop physical demands.  I still need to dress Liam and often need to feed him to get him to eat.  Ben still wants me to carry him around the house and many place.  It isn't realistic to imagine I could handle a third.  Liam has significant delays and Ben still doesn't say his own name at nearly 2.5 years old.  It is very unlikely to think a 3rd child wouldn't also have developmental delays.  I know it was the right choice for us, and most of the time I am happy but every once in awhile I wish I had a different life.  A life where my husband was only out of the house at work 10-11 hours a day, a life where I lived near family to help, a life where babies slept 8-10 hours at night by 6 months and actually napped, a life without non-stop therapy.

Ben is done nursing.  He only nursed once in August and has changed his bedtime routine so it isn't even something he thinks about.  I will hold onto the memory of nursing him in June and him growing heavy in my arms and falling asleep.  It astounds me to think I will never again nurse another baby so this milestone is bittersweet.  I am sure I'll be much more excited when the milestone is potty training.

Celebrating World Breastfeeding Week: Part II....Why I Choose Child-Led Weaning

Child-led weaning is not the same as baby-led weaning.  So there is no confusion, baby-led weaning is allowing a baby to feed themselves solids and skipping purees and spoon feeding.  We used baby-led weaning with Liam as he refused to be spoon fed and never allowed purees.  He still won't eat anything that doesn't crunch and needs to be chewed (it is part of his sensory issues).  Child-led weaning is allowing a nursling to decide when they are ready to wean from breastfeeding.  Kellymom shows that only 36% of mothers are nursing after 6 months, 17% are still nursing after the 1st birthday, and less than 6 % still nursing after 18 months. Kellymom Source  By contrast, Kathy Dettwyler, an anthropologist who studied nursing across cultures and mammal species, estimates that a natural age of weaning of humans is between 2.5 and 7 years of age.  Kathy Dettwyler

So why did I decide to follow child-led weaning and place myself in a tiny percentage of women nursing past 18 months?  Remember I said when pregnant with Liam that I would wean him no later than 6 months.  Ben nursed until 28 months, so my thinking changed alot somewhere along the way.

Safety note about this photo: I was not sleeping with the sheets since Ben was newborn.  He fell asleep nursing and Dave wanted to capture the co-sleeping but covered me.

 

When Ben was born, I was hoping to nurse until age 2.  I wasn't sure whether I would then gently wean him or follow his lead.  I was not happy with the way Liam weaned suddenly due to a nursing strike.  Thankfully, Ben took right to nursing at the hospital.  Even more surprising, Ben was a fast nurser which meant he wasn't constantly attached to me and he even chose to nurse every 3 hours.  Nursing him was so easy.

At 3 weeks Ben started crying inconsolably.  If I had known then that random crying and screaming would last 2 years, I am not sure I could have survived it.  The first pediatrician said colic, but a few weeks later, a second ped said it was reflux.  We started with Zantac and it made no difference.  His dosage was increased and increased again.  Nothing made a difference.  I eliminated dairy and soy from my diet.  By 4 months, we were all weary.  Ben started spitting up blood.  Blood tests confirmed internal bleeding and we finally got a referral to a pediatric GI.

These photos were taken in January 2011 when Ben was 21 months.



The GI put Ben on Prilosec and it reduced the crying from 6 to 7 hours a day to 3 hours a day.  3 hours of crying a day is alot, and by this time, he was almost 6 months.  His weight was not maintaining on a curve.  He was born around 30th percentile and went up to 50th percentile by 2 months.  Between 2 and 4 months, he fell 42 percentile points to 8th percentile.  He fell even further over the next couple of months to 2nd percentile.  The GI suggested that I formula feed.  I requested a 2nd opinion.

The 2nd GI did not think I should supplement with formula but did make me talk to a nutritionist to ensure that I was consuming enough calories to support a nursling.  The trial of going of milk and soy lasted about 4 months and did nothing to reduce Ben's crying so I started consuming them again.  There were no changes to Ben in amount of crying.  Ben still wasn't gaining weight as expected.  The 2nd GI was convinced that reflux wasn't an issue and tested Ben for every disorder possible that causes growth issues.  Time and again, the tests showed Ben was healthy.  He was still crying hours a day.  Dave was deployed and I was worn out.  Ben wouldn't take a bottle so I didn't leave him at all basically.  I constantly questioned whether I was making the right choice.

We made it to the 1 year milestone and Ben was still nursing.  He was also still spitting up every day, sometimes multiple times, and often solid food rather than breast milk.  The 2nd GI wanted to trial Ben off the Prilosec.  The trial went horribly; Ben stopped sleeping, refused solids, and went back to screaming 6 hours a day.  The GI tried to put him on Zantac and it made no difference.  Ben went back on the Prilosec but was still refusing solids and solely nursing.  His sleep wasn't improving, and he was still crying alot.  But something was going right: he was gaining weight.  At 14-18 months, eating little other than breast milk and kefir, his growth went from the 4 or 5th percentile all the way up to the 20th percentile. 

In the meantime, we had moved so we needed to see a new GI.  This time we had to travel 3000 miles to get there.  This GI tripled Ben's Prilosec dosage and at 19 months he finally started sleeping through the night.  With the Prilosec and Early Intervention OT, he started to eat more.  The crying didn't decrease.  Ben was scoped in January and it showed his esophagus is healthy.  The GI wanted to take him off Prilosec.  I asked for a 2nd opinion again.  I also started taking him to a chiropractor.  Ben was still spitting up weekly at 22 months old and as I mentioned had bouts of unexplained screaming.

The 4th GI agreed to leave him on Prilosec until after his 2nd birthday.  His 2 year well baby showed that his growth was catching up to his peers, especially his height.  Sometime after he turned 2, the uncontrollable crying stopped.  In addition, I met the milestone I set for myself: I nursed Ben until he turned 2.  He only nursed twice a day so I saw no reason to stop.  Over the last few months, Ben went down to nursing once a day to every other day.  By June, he was nursing once or twice a week.  It is August 7th and he has nursed once this month so far, and I don't expect he'll nurse at all in September. 

We are done.  After supporting a baby with my body in pregnancy or nursing continually since December 2006, I am a happy to have my body belong to me again.  But since we are done making babies, I am sad to say good-bye to nursing.  Of all mothering things, it is the one that comes most natural to me.  I struggle getting my boys to sleep close to a normal amount.  Neither of them eat well or much.  I struggle with issues related to discipline and what is typical development.  Nursing is easy.

I am glad that I kept an open mind about length of nursing.

Things I never want to forget

I never want to forget the smell of Ben's head--a mixture of lavender shampoo and a sweetness that can be best described as "baby smell."  I don't know if he has this smell because he still nurses, but I never get tired on putting my nose against his soft, fine, baby hair and sniffing that smell.  I am terrified he'll lose it and I won't remember what it was like.

I never want to forget how insistent Ben is about interacting with me.  He has certain phrases he uses to interact "that is good" "that is fun" "where is the _____" and if I don't repeat the phrase back to him (because I am in a conversation with another adult) he screams "Nooooooooo" until I repeat his words.

I never want to forget Ben's response to seeing me if say I happen to walk into another room and come back (a rare occurrence as he insists on me carrying him anywhere).  He'll start doing his happy Ben Ben dance, give me the tightest squeeze he can, and say "Mama! Mama! Mama!" over and over again.  He'll give another big hug, pull away, and point at my face "that's a mama!"

I never want to forget May 17, 2011 as the first time Liam had a kid-initiated play date.  Liam didn't initiate it, but his friend decided he wanted to play with Liam.  See, our side neighbor happens to have a little boy who happens to have Asperger's.  A few months ago, I suggested she use our BCBA for ABA therapy and about a month ago, Liam and her son, C, started having weekly therapeutic play dates to build social skills.  Something unexpected happened, and the boys adore each other and have a true friendship.  They will talk while standing on our respective back decks.  That is how yesterday happened.  I was playing outside with the boys and C hearing Liam's voice came running out to his back porch.  He is nearly 5 with no language delay, and he asked Liam "Can I come over to play?"  Liam had no framework to respond so he babbled a bit of nonsense and then concluded with "We'll play Thursday!"  Liam is very insistent on routines and he knows he plays with C on Thursday, especially since he wakes every morning asking if it is a day he plays with C.  A couple hours later, C's mom calls and says "C told me that Liam invited him over; can he comes over to play?"  So there you have it, a play date that us moms did not arrange but happened anyway.

I never want to forget watching Liam play with C last night.  He was a different Liam than who he is with me and his brother.  He seemed less like a baby and more like a little kid.  It allowed me to visualize a future with play dates of boys playing rough, running wildly, and telling fart jokes.  Every time Liam farted, he announced it to C last night and they both giggled like it was the funniest thing ever.  It has been almost 4 years of me being Liam's sole friend and constant entertainment and the idea of him having a friend makes me so happy.  I parented the way i did so he'd have the confidence to be independent of me.  I thought it would happen sooner, but last night I caught a glimpse of that time and I am excited we are on that path.

I never want to forget the looks Liam gives me as I talk to C.  He looks at me like I am the most beautiful women in the world, the smartest, and as if he is in awe of me.  Soon enough he'll be a teenager, so i wish I could hold on to that look forever.

2 years old

Benjamin Andrew is 2 years old and quickly becoming less of a baby. 

These days his eyes are hazel, but they aren't green-gold hazel like mine.  Ben's hazel is a deep dark navy blue with shades of grey, and a couple of brown spots (particularly in the upper right corner of his right eye):

Ben never had much baby fat and lost his round belly months ago.  At 33 and 1/2 inches and 25 pounds, he is fairly muscular (note the outline of a 6 pack here):



Being so thin means he still fits in clothes as small as 12-18 months.  He is tall enough to fit in some 2T clothing.  Even though he is tiny, he is strong and can climb better than Liam can.  He still likes to be carried around a couple hours a day, so I am glad he is as small as he is.  My arms get tired enough; I cannot imagine how hard it would be if he were as big as Liam at this age.

He still rides rear-facing even though he is above 20 pounds and 2 years old.  It is safest to ride rear-facing until the limits of the seat.  Liam was just turned around at 34 months when he finally reached 35 pounds.  Ben is only 24 months and still has 10 pounds until he hits the limits of his seat.  I don't plan on turning him forward facing anytime soon.  He is quite comfortable facing the rear.  He sees me through a soft mirror attached to the seat back.  He can see the DVD player Liam watches by turning his head to the side.  He rests his legs up the back of the seat or crosses them as Liam did when he sat in the same seat.  Here is alseep after a car trip to Costco this week:

As far as eating, Ben still doesn't swallow much food.  My neighbor watched him today and said he ate half of a quarter piece of peanut butter and jelly sandwich (so 1/8 of a sandwich), 8 goldfish (I laughed, but she was so worried about how little he was eating that she counted them), and 1 yogurt covered raisin.  I told her that might be the last time he swallows food all day.  He already spit up once today (about a tablespoon of his breakfast). 

Ben does still nurse; it has been twice a day for maybe 5 months now, but just within the last week or so, it has started skipping sessions and only nursing once a day.  I don't think he'll be nursing for much longer.
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Ben can count to 10, but usually counts "3, 6, 8, 9, 10, all done, YAY!"  He knows all 26 letters in upper case form and knows close to all of them in lower case form.  It is amazing to watch as he points out letters in words.  It has helped eliminate some of his meltdowns during errands as he gets so hyper-focused on letters that he blocks out everything else.

Ben loves Murray and hunts him down for pets and cuddles:

Ben loves playing with Liam, but hates when Liam talks loudly, sings, gets in Ben's zone of personal space, or touches him too much.  Ben loves Wonder Pets, Super Why, and The Cat in the Hat.  He loves dancing to Laurie Berkner and likes to jump.

Ben was talking alot at a year old, but hasn't made much progress lately.  He says "tay" for yes, which I assume means "Okay" but he gets really excited when you ask him a question he says "tay" to and gets a huge smile.  He says "Bye Mama" (or Dada or Mimi for Liam) but that and "all done" are the only regular multi-word phrases unless you count scripts as he has several of those "more milk on the other side" to switch breasts during nursing "giraffe, pets, _____" (pig, baby, etc) to request a Wonder Pets episode.  He likes to hide things and ask "where's the _____" and then pick up and say "there's the _______!"  His giraffe is still his lovey--and has been since he was about 4 months old.  Thankfully we have 5 or 6 of them and I rotate them regularly.

Liam was easier during age 2, than he was at age 1 or now at age 3.  I am crossing my fingers that Ben is as well.

Smarty pants

Liam learned all 26 letter names before his 2nd birthday.  He wasn't talking to communicate and I chalked it up to one of the few benefits of autism (obsessive interests, in this case for something academic).  I never expected a repeat with Ben.  I was shocked when Ben started counting.  Shortly after he figured that out, he started focusing on our Fridge Phonics.  He also became obsessed with the show "Super Why" and phonic sounds.

This video shows how well he is doing.  He doesn't quite know all 26 letters.  He calls V a Y because they look similar and often calls J a U.  Sometimes he subsitiutes phonic sound for letter name, but he definitely knows the idea.  The way he says L is so cute as he rolls his tongue all around.

Almost 22 months of 2 boys in diapers.....

seem to be over.  Liam still needs a diaper at night, but I have no expectations about night time training.  Liam also still wets his underwear 2 to 3 times a day and every once in a while wets enough to make his pants wet as well.  All in all, I call this potty training success.  Can I say how liberating it is to have only 1 baby in diapers?

So, apparently number 5 is optional

At least to Ben.  I got him counting on video as he is obsessed with it.  He has decided that number 5 is over-rated and skips straight to 6 after 4.  Still, not to shabby.

Here is another video.  This one shows Ben counting.  Liam joins in.   It also illustrates how jealous Ben gets when the attention is turned towards Liam.  I think that is why he learned to count; he is competetive and does't want Liam doing anything he can't do.  Sigh......

Ten

That's how high Ben can count at not quite 22 months.  I'll try to get it on video but he won't do it on command.  I was really surprised that Ben knew how to count.  I thought Liam only learned to count so young because of his obsession over numbers and being on the autism spectrum.

Of course, Ben tries my patience.....alot.....so I need to coount to 10, alot to calm myself down.

Here he is after eating one of Liam's art projects (not eating exactly, but more licking marker ink off of it).

And with his recent interest in the fridge phonics, he'll start recognizing letters too.  He already recognizes some while playing "Monkey Lunchbox" on my iTouch.



Big boy bed

I slept in a crib untilmy 4th birthday and it looked like Liam might as well.  After a month of sleeping in a pack-n-play at 3 years old, 38 inches,and 35 pounds, we decided it was probably best tomove himto a bed.  Our stuff hasn't arrived, so his convertible crib has never been converted. ;-)

He looked so little in the bed, and it was bittersweet for me. Mostly, I worry about his sleep being disrupted, but he slept about 9 hours with one wake-up.  He was still tired this morning and feel asleep in the car by 10:30am.  Let's hope he sleeps more tonight and stays in bed, calling for us when he wakes.

Helping make the bed

drinking juice and ready for bed

Success--asleep!

Special education, riding a bus, and IEP Alaskan style

Liam has been in special education in the Anchorage School District for 2 weeks now.  He loves his school, which consists of 1 "buddy bear" (i.e. typical developing peer), 3 other kids with IEPs, a special education teacher and an aide.  On Wednesdays, the moms and kids go to McDonald's after school for lunch and playtime at their indoor play area. 

The first thing the school did was revise Liam's IEP to add in speech therapy.  Here are some tidbits from the IEP that are worth sharing.  It lists student strengths: "sweet, complies with directions, strong academic skills, cooperative, loves music, very active (HA! don't I know), good gross motor skills, loves school."  The IEP notes that Liam's delays in language, social development, and adaptive skills "adversely affect his ability to function independently in a classroom."  In summary, "Developmental delays will affect Liam's ability to demonstrate learning, communicate his wants and needs in the classroom, and to socialize with his peers." 

So why chose special education over mainstreaming in a regular preschool?  In Liam's case, he didn't qualify to attend any private/regular preschools as Anchorage preschools do not take children that are not independently potty trained.  His IEP notes "The preschool program is modified by a smaller class size, structure, prompts, routines, and use of facilitating strategies for behavior and communication."  They have a whole page justifying why a less restrictive environment does not meet Liam's needs.  I don't think any parent ever aspires to have her child attend special education, and it took some setting aside of pride to embrace what meets Liam's needs the best.  Liam needs someone who can really focus on learning adaptive skills like using utensils, dressing himself, and potty training.  He needs prompts to engage is age appropriate socialization beyond running and wrestling.  Without these things, he won't move ahead.  My hope is that this is just a short time, and he can be mainstreamed by kindergarten.  I never saw life taking me here, for sure.

Lighter stuff.....Liam qualifies for the school bus, and since his school "day" is 2 hours, I decided to take advantage of it.  Today was his first time on the bus, and here is some fluff:

Cheese!

He looks so tiny here, especially for doing such a big boy thing

Brothers running up and down the driveway:

The bus coming up the hill

Buckled in all safe and sound: