Ben's 4th Birthday Bash

When Liam was 2, I didn't have a party for him, but a dear friend convinced me to celebrate his birthday at her daughter's party and it turned into a big Luau bash.  This year I asked her if she wanted to celebrate the 4th birthday of our youngest children together (our oldests are 6 weeks apart in age, as are our youngests).  Shortly after that, two other friends asked to join our party planning to celebrate their two children turning 3.

The result was a HUGE birthday party.  Each child had their own theme: A chose Toy Store, Ben chose Hello Kitty, C chose Spiderman, and D chose Cars.  Each mom had separate contributions to make.  The party was at Trudy's so I think she had the hardest job.  We all contributed some food and our own birthday cakes.  Penny planned games and crafts (the crafts were individually put in bags in each of the 4 themes and designed so the kids could do them without help).  Lori made goody bags honoring each theme.  All I did was bring the bouncy castle.  How did I luck out?

Getting the yard ready:

Liam on the bouncy slide:

Ben pouting and refusing to smile for the camera:

Trudy's awesome sister-in-law face painting.  We have been using her as our babysitter and the boys LOVE her.  We will miss her when we move:

Sweet Liam:

The bounce house!

My birthday boy, full of contradictions:

Cake time!

Trudy's husband, Jay, and Dave enjoying a quiet moment:

Social Breakthroughs

Liam continues to develop by leaps and bounds and amaze everyone who meets him.  We have had two social breakthroughs recently.

First, Liam has a female friend from school....one he made on his own without my help.  It is reported she saves seats for him at lunch and she has gotten him to play Barbies.  I took them to the ballet and to say they were adorable to watch is an understatement.

 

 

Second, Liam initiated a conversation about something that interested me.  He tends to talk "at" you and not much wait for you to respond.  He also has tendency to ask repetitive questions and to focus on only things that interest him.  I was shocked Friday morning when we had the following conversation:

 

Liam: "How was your beer tasting last night, Mommy?"

 

Me: "It was a wine tasting, not beer.  I had a wonderful time.  Thank you for asking."

 

Liam: "How many wines did you try? 5?"

 

Me: "No, I tried 7 wines."

 

Liam: "Oh, 7 wines!  Which one was your favorite?"

 

Me: "My favorite was the Pouilly-Fuissé."

Liam: "Oh, the Pouilly-Fuissé (I giggled inside as he said that like he knew what I was talking about).  Was it the number 5 wine?"

Me: "No, it was the 2nd wine."

Liam: "Well, we should buy some if it was your favorite."

Me: "That is a wonderful idea and I did bring some home so Daddy could try it."



Things I never want to forget

I never want to forget the smell of Ben's head--a mixture of lavender shampoo and a sweetness that can be best described as "baby smell."  I don't know if he has this smell because he still nurses, but I never get tired on putting my nose against his soft, fine, baby hair and sniffing that smell.  I am terrified he'll lose it and I won't remember what it was like.

I never want to forget how insistent Ben is about interacting with me.  He has certain phrases he uses to interact "that is good" "that is fun" "where is the _____" and if I don't repeat the phrase back to him (because I am in a conversation with another adult) he screams "Nooooooooo" until I repeat his words.

I never want to forget Ben's response to seeing me if say I happen to walk into another room and come back (a rare occurrence as he insists on me carrying him anywhere).  He'll start doing his happy Ben Ben dance, give me the tightest squeeze he can, and say "Mama! Mama! Mama!" over and over again.  He'll give another big hug, pull away, and point at my face "that's a mama!"

I never want to forget May 17, 2011 as the first time Liam had a kid-initiated play date.  Liam didn't initiate it, but his friend decided he wanted to play with Liam.  See, our side neighbor happens to have a little boy who happens to have Asperger's.  A few months ago, I suggested she use our BCBA for ABA therapy and about a month ago, Liam and her son, C, started having weekly therapeutic play dates to build social skills.  Something unexpected happened, and the boys adore each other and have a true friendship.  They will talk while standing on our respective back decks.  That is how yesterday happened.  I was playing outside with the boys and C hearing Liam's voice came running out to his back porch.  He is nearly 5 with no language delay, and he asked Liam "Can I come over to play?"  Liam had no framework to respond so he babbled a bit of nonsense and then concluded with "We'll play Thursday!"  Liam is very insistent on routines and he knows he plays with C on Thursday, especially since he wakes every morning asking if it is a day he plays with C.  A couple hours later, C's mom calls and says "C told me that Liam invited him over; can he comes over to play?"  So there you have it, a play date that us moms did not arrange but happened anyway.

I never want to forget watching Liam play with C last night.  He was a different Liam than who he is with me and his brother.  He seemed less like a baby and more like a little kid.  It allowed me to visualize a future with play dates of boys playing rough, running wildly, and telling fart jokes.  Every time Liam farted, he announced it to C last night and they both giggled like it was the funniest thing ever.  It has been almost 4 years of me being Liam's sole friend and constant entertainment and the idea of him having a friend makes me so happy.  I parented the way i did so he'd have the confidence to be independent of me.  I thought it would happen sooner, but last night I caught a glimpse of that time and I am excited we are on that path.

I never want to forget the looks Liam gives me as I talk to C.  He looks at me like I am the most beautiful women in the world, the smartest, and as if he is in awe of me.  Soon enough he'll be a teenager, so i wish I could hold on to that look forever.

Thankful for "old" friends

Lindsey on the left at 28 weeks pregnant and me in the flowered dress at 32 weeks pregnant:

Jack at 1 month and Liam at 2 months.....and their tired mommies.....

Liam at 10 months and Jack at 9 months at Lindsey's house in England before we left

Liam at 19 months and Jack at 18 months, shortly before Ben arrived, playing with our water table here in Montgomery

Liam and Jack today at 2 years old:

The week leading up to Thanksgiving, I was in a serious funk. Ben wasn't sleeping and it was grey and rainy here in Montgomery. It was going to be the first Thanksgiving since 2001 that I'd spend without Dave, and I was (and still am) missing him so much that I feel empty.

I am thankful for my friend, Lindsey, who invited me to her house in Georgia to spend the holiday with her and her two year old son, Jack. Lindsey and I met shortly before we both got pregnant, and our pregnancies and two sons made us friends. While we were pregnant, Lindsey often stopped by my office to chat and we compared symptoms. Once our boys arrived, our friend, Beth, organized playdates and we drank tea and discussed nursing, sleep deprivation, and baby milestones. When I left England, we kept in touch. As luck would have it, Lindsey moved only 4-5 hours away. She visited shortly before Ben's arrival, and Jack showed Liam how to play with a water table. This visit was a riot, but I'll dedicate a separate post to Liam and Jack's friendship. :-)

Despite the challenges of the last few months, I have much to be thankful for: good friends, beautiful sons, a loving husband, the ability to stay home with my children, a comfortable lifestyle, and good health.

Sometimes it takes a village

When the doctor told me that I couldn't lift more than 10 pounds for 6 weeks, I begin to worry...How was I going to care for Liam after my c-section? Liam is still a baby himself and needs to be picked up several times a day. Dave decided to use a good chunk of his vacation time and took off 3 weeks of work, which got me 1/2 into my healing period. The day Dave went back to work was April 27th, but I knew I wouldn't be alone for long. Dave and I hired a mother's helper to assist me 4 hours every day. Miss Alexis comes at 9:30am and plays with Liam, straightens the house a bit, and then puts Liam down for his nap. She leaves at 1:30pm every day, and I feel a little more in control for her help. Her time with us ends at the end of May, but she will still come once a week. Liam really loves her, and she is wonderful with him.

My Dad also came down and spent about 10 days with us. Living so far away, he doesn't see much of me or Liam. It was wonderful to have him here, and Liam liked having some one to play with. After Dad left, my friend, Lesley came for a week. She heard that Dave would be gone for a week in mid-May and knew I needed an extra set of hands. She was wonderful at staying calm while Ben screamed and spent hours walking Ben and trying to calm him while I attended to Liam.

During the early days after Ben's arrival, the Air Force community, as well as friends and neighbors stopped by with casseroles so we wouldn't have to worry about cooking. My neighbors check on me every few days and everyone is more than happy to take a crying baby off my hands for a little whiole and do some laps around the living room for me.

It really does take a village sometimes, and we are so grateful for all the help we have received.