Monday, September 26, 2011

It is amazing what a night off does for your soul

Last week I was feeling pretty overwhelmed, especially by Tuesday (if not evident by my last two blog posts).  Since then something amazing happened, I got a night off.  My first ever....in the last 4 years I have been a single parent for about 16 months, maybe a bit longer.  In those 16 months, I only had less than a month of help, and it was from my Dad which meant help in running errands, not with the boys or cooking or cleaning.  In addition, I have single handedly dealt with hundreds of hours of medical and therapy appointments, 2 surgeries alone, and too many sleepless nights to count.  Everyone deserves some time off, but mine was fairly overdue, I'd guess.

As luck would have it, I caught a cold, complete with fever, and Ben was sick.  But our sitter that we trust enough to leave with the boys overnight moves this weekend, so it was our only chance.  We left the boys with her and headed to an Oktoberfest.  A few German beers later and after Dave and I turned "Pass the Pigs" on my iPhone into a drinking game, I was feeling fine.  Our sitter texted that the boys were asleep, and her parents were two houses away, and I felt totally relaxed.  We stayed up late talking to other couples we met that night.  We woke at 7am (a miracle in itself) and it was our sitter that dealt with Ben being awake in the middle of the night.  We watched TV in the morning without requests for cartoons, and then had a lovely quiet breakfast.  On the drive home, we even saw a bear.

Ben did fine with our time away, which surprised me as he is so clingy to me.  Liam did not do so well.  He was very anxious that night but settled with a promise to bake cookies in the morning.  He was very hyper in the morning, but the cookies distracted him.  After we returned, he velcroed himself to me, sitting on my lap and often touching my face with both of his hands.  The rest of the weekend were full of Liam meltdowns and he was pretty worked up all day on Sunday.

After relaxation, I have some things to share and thoughts on recent happenings with the boys....

On Wednesday, Ben had his 2nd appointment in the process with the developmental pediatrician.  This time we saw a psychologist for a developmental screening.  She saw pretty typical behavior for Ben--there were times he engaged with her (played catch with a ball) and times he was clearly overwhelmed (at least 5-6 times engaged in repetitive head banging for example).  She doesn't think Ben is on the spectrum, but she is NOT who makes the final diagnosis.  She did an autism screening (the CARS) but I don't yet know the results of his developmental screenings.  Next week he has his speech evaluation, and then he sees the developmental pediatrician for the last appointment on October 10th.

I am overwhelmed not by a diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder but by the sheer volume of interventions I will be managing and running both boys to and from.  I don't feel it is an option to do less intervention because of how far Liam has come; it proves intervention at a young age produces good results.  I have been pushing myself, thinking the crazy therapy schedule would be over when Liam starts kindergarten but it won't be until Ben starts kindergarten.  And 2 years in, I am just now being told that Liam needs physical therapy.  It was alot for one week.

I am hoping this week is better.  Today for the first time ever, Liam asked me 3 questions in a row.  He has never stayed on topic for more than one turn before.  I wish I remember what the questions were about but it was before my morning coffee.  Have I mentioned that Ben is waking nightly again and is no longer napping?

4 comments:

Kelly2 said...

I'm sorry Michelle. I'm glad you got a night off. Just a decent night's sleep does so much for the soul. Your boys are lucky to have you. While I know they have no idea the extent of what you do for them, one day they will and one day you will look back and know they've come so far because you put the time in. and you will have MUCH to be proud of, I'm certain.

Beth said...

Oh Michelle, I finally got around to catching up on blog reading, and just can't imagine how all this must be for you. I know in the long run it will be SO worth it, but in the here and now it does seem like SO much. I'll be praying for you.

Oh, Zeke says "HI LIAM!" :)

Michelle said...

Beth, Liam misses Zeke. :-) I appreciate the prayers. Everyday I feel more at peace with everything.

Kelly, thanks for the reminder I am doing the right thing. My fear is that they won't thank me some day.

Kelly2 said...

They might never-- hopefully we will both get to a point with our kiddos that the impact will be minimal by the time they are aware and realize what's actually happening. That's my hope at least. That Kate never knows her early childhood has differed so vastly from Emily's. ((hugs)) I think if they never thank you because you did such a great job with them, that is the ultimate!