Things I never want to forget

I never want to forget the smell of Ben's head--a mixture of lavender shampoo and a sweetness that can be best described as "baby smell."  I don't know if he has this smell because he still nurses, but I never get tired on putting my nose against his soft, fine, baby hair and sniffing that smell.  I am terrified he'll lose it and I won't remember what it was like.

I never want to forget how insistent Ben is about interacting with me.  He has certain phrases he uses to interact "that is good" "that is fun" "where is the _____" and if I don't repeat the phrase back to him (because I am in a conversation with another adult) he screams "Nooooooooo" until I repeat his words.

I never want to forget Ben's response to seeing me if say I happen to walk into another room and come back (a rare occurrence as he insists on me carrying him anywhere).  He'll start doing his happy Ben Ben dance, give me the tightest squeeze he can, and say "Mama! Mama! Mama!" over and over again.  He'll give another big hug, pull away, and point at my face "that's a mama!"

I never want to forget May 17, 2011 as the first time Liam had a kid-initiated play date.  Liam didn't initiate it, but his friend decided he wanted to play with Liam.  See, our side neighbor happens to have a little boy who happens to have Asperger's.  A few months ago, I suggested she use our BCBA for ABA therapy and about a month ago, Liam and her son, C, started having weekly therapeutic play dates to build social skills.  Something unexpected happened, and the boys adore each other and have a true friendship.  They will talk while standing on our respective back decks.  That is how yesterday happened.  I was playing outside with the boys and C hearing Liam's voice came running out to his back porch.  He is nearly 5 with no language delay, and he asked Liam "Can I come over to play?"  Liam had no framework to respond so he babbled a bit of nonsense and then concluded with "We'll play Thursday!"  Liam is very insistent on routines and he knows he plays with C on Thursday, especially since he wakes every morning asking if it is a day he plays with C.  A couple hours later, C's mom calls and says "C told me that Liam invited him over; can he comes over to play?"  So there you have it, a play date that us moms did not arrange but happened anyway.

I never want to forget watching Liam play with C last night.  He was a different Liam than who he is with me and his brother.  He seemed less like a baby and more like a little kid.  It allowed me to visualize a future with play dates of boys playing rough, running wildly, and telling fart jokes.  Every time Liam farted, he announced it to C last night and they both giggled like it was the funniest thing ever.  It has been almost 4 years of me being Liam's sole friend and constant entertainment and the idea of him having a friend makes me so happy.  I parented the way i did so he'd have the confidence to be independent of me.  I thought it would happen sooner, but last night I caught a glimpse of that time and I am excited we are on that path.

I never want to forget the looks Liam gives me as I talk to C.  He looks at me like I am the most beautiful women in the world, the smartest, and as if he is in awe of me.  Soon enough he'll be a teenager, so i wish I could hold on to that look forever.