The spirited toddler chronicles

Liam is a spirited toddler. I know that most of you are thinking that all toddlers have spirit, and this is indeed true. :-) However, a small percentage of children meet the definition of "spirited." The book "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka in an excellent place to learn about spirited children. According to the book, spirited children are: intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive, have difficulty with adaptability, irregular, have lots of energy, have strong first reaction, and are moody. If I could pick one word to describe Liam, it would be intense. This type of intensity can be quite draining. These characteristics are not negative; in fact, they are positive traits in an adult, but they do make parenting more of a challenge.



In addition to being intense, spirited children are persistent, which mean parents seldom win battle of the wills. The term sensitive means that they have a low sensory threshold and are often overwhelmed by certain noises. In Liam's case, he is very sensitive to laughter, and almost always bursts into intense tears when people laugh. Perceptiveness means they are easily distracted and hard to keep on task. Lack of adaptability means they don't easily shift tasks. I cannot do more than one errand with Liam, as multiple trips in and out of the car overwhelm him. The first reaction means they often withdraw when they encounter anything new. Liam has difficulty entering a new environment and it can take up to an hour to get him to relax.



How does this play out in a day to day situation? Yesterday there was a party at the house of Dave co-worker. Parties are noisy environments so even in a familiar environment, Liam has trouble adapting. Add in the fact that it was a strange house, and Liam would not stop crying. Liam's crying brought him extra attention, which made him cry more. Not being adaptable, Liam could not manage the change in his normal routine. His intensity meant that everyone at the party knew how unhappy he was. In the end, we left because Liam could not recover and he was making it unpleasant for everyone who was there.



On the plus side, Liam's perceptiveness means that he notices everything and is constantly learning. He is intense in all emotions, including positive ones and loves in a big way. His persistence means that he often completes tasks or keeps at things until he figures them out. Being sensitive, he is not the physical type of child who bulldozes others. Liam makes me a better mother as I need to bring my "A game" every day to manage the new challenges he always presents. I have a feeling his spirited traits will be more manageable once we leave this toddler stage behind.