Overheard in these parts

Some things we have heard lately.

"Liam is the social leader in the classroom." from Liam's special education teacher....about Liam who refused to play with other children.  WOW.  I don't have words.

"I wish I had video of Liam last year to show how far he has come." from Liam's BCBA, his ABA therapist.

Liam's teacher assistant at his Montessori preschool also told me again that Liam is brilliant and told me to have him tell me what he did with her yesterday, but with Liam's pragmatic language delay, he cannot tell me anything more than that he did alot of words and some were hard.  I don't know if he read them or spelled them or wrote them.  I am guessing he was reading them, but Liam cannot seem to tell me exactly what he did that was so impressive.

Things heard from Liam:

On the night of November 30th as Dave tucked him into bed, "Goodnight Daddy; I'll see you in December."

This morning on learning that Christmas is on December 25th, "That means there are only 24 days until Christmas!"  However, when asked directly to subtract are how many days until a date, he claims not to know the answer.

When seeing a photo of the Elf on the Shelf in a Target circular, he asked "Is Christopher Pop-in-kins going to become a toy after Christmas?" At the moment, he thinks our elf, Christopher, moves by magic, but he seems confused about elves being pictured for sale and has an idea they might not be real. He is 4 years old!

Ben has started private speech and OT and is doing great and is even able to do his therapy without me present.  His tantrums are increasing in intensity however, and I am remembering how difficult they are to manage, especially as Liam gets upset  and says Ben is too loud and covers his ears and then begs me to make Ben stop.

Ben singing, Liam at karate, and a bit about Liam's language

First some happy video fluff.....

We went to a birthday party Sunday and Ben kept saying "Happy Day!"  Then on Monday Dave came home with cupcakes.  As Ben was eating it, he started rocking side to side and singing the birthday song.....kind of.....he is hard to hear over Liam but oh so cute!

Last week I took advantage of a karate class where Ben wasn't melting down to show Liam in action.  Liam is the little one all the way at the right of the screen as he was at the end of the line (he was line leader that day).



Afterwards, Miss Becky who teaches the class asked what Liam thought about being line leader.  They take turns and usually the line leader is really excited and makes a big deal about it, but Liam was just kind of flat while line leader.  I wasn't sure what to tell her as when I asked Liam, he just said he was line leader but didn't connect any emotions with it.

Last night at dinner, there was the following exchange.
Dave: "Liam what did you do today?"
Liam: "I went to school."
Dave: "What about in the morning, did anyone come to the house?"
Liam: "No."
Dave: "No one came to the house to play with you?
Michelle: "There were two people."
Dave: "Liam, who came to the house to play with you today?"
Liam: "No one."
Dave: "Did Miss Reagan and Miss Becky come to play with you this morning?"
Liam: "Yes, they came and we played games and it was so much fun!"
Dave: "That is great you had fun with them.  What did you do at school today."
Liam: "I threw balls with Ben, but no Ben wasn't there.....and I *gibberish* and then *drops voice and talks nonsense* and THAT is what I did."
Dave: "Wow, is there anything else you did today?"
Liam: "I played Zingo but I forgot."
Dave: "You forgot you played Zingo?"
Liam: "yes"

That exchange is why it is so hard for us to figure out what Liam does during the day or how he feels about things.  I am happy that he tests above age level when his speech is tested but on a pragmatic day to day basis, he is not communicating like you would expect. 

Of course after that, Liam told me a story about when he was born and he met the first Liam that ever existed (there was another Liam at the party on Sunday) and then he turned 100 and then he was a baby again and was born again.  There were some other details, like he was driving a car when he was 10 and me, Dave, and Ben were babies and rode in the car with him. Silly boy......

The Kindergarten Conundrum

I told you yesterday that there was too much for one post, so I am back to give information about why the Kindergarten decision is hard for me.

Liam turns 5 on August 20th, and the cut-off date for Kindergarten is September 1st, in both Alaska and Alabama.  This means that he only makes the cut-off by 11 days and will in all likelihood be the youngest in his class.  In addition, I have heard from a friend that Nebraska is changing the cut-off to July 1st, which means if we were to move there, Liam's birthday would be AFTER the cut-off.

As a September 2nd baby, I have been in this situation.  I made the cut-off in Pennsylvania, but not in Georgia, and I moved between the states several times.  When moving into Georgia, I had to undergo 2-3 days of IQ and academic testing to avoid repeating a grade and then I was always the smallest and the youngest.  I had no problems in school, socially or academically.  I was reading and writing by age 3, and schools soon learned I did better when challenged.  That was my story and Liam is a different kid than me.

For a long time, I have assumed that I would just hold Liam back and do an extra year of preschool.  I have many friends who have done that, and I figured my decision would be no more complicated than that.  That is not the case.

Alabama will NOT provide services to a 5 year old who is retained in preschool by their parents.  In itself, this is not too worrying to me, as we can continue with private speech and OT.  In addition, I know where he would go to preschool, and I love it and am excited to have him and Ben in the same school.

My concern is what happens the next year?  You know, the year he starts Kindergarten and we are in our 3rd state and 18-20 months from the date of his last IEP.  Not all states recognize PDD-NOS as being the same thing as autism.  Here in Alaska, PDD-NOS only guarantees an IEP through age 7.  So what happens if we move to who-knows-where, and Liam is tested at age 6 for Kindergarten skills and doesn't qualify for an IEP?

I decided to research Wrightslaw to see what my rights are in this area, and all I came across were article saying that retaining special needs kids in hurtful and delays their progress.  There is no information about how to ensure I don't lose an IEP while retaining.

So, my other option is to just send him on to Kindergarten in Alabama, as he will have a kick ass IEP written by Alaska.  But what if Alabama can not or will not provide the same level of interventions we have gotten used to in Alaska?  What is this means that Liam, as the youngest in his class, ends up struggling?  What if he ends up hating school?  What about the future with him always as the youngest?

Just thinking about it makes me want to start drinking at 9am.  And it makes my heart hurt and my head spin.  I feel like I have the power to royally screw up Liam.

Those are my thoughts and fears about making any decision about Kindergarten.

Thoughts? Commisseration? Anyone want to drink with me? 

Too much for one post

But I'll try to squeeze it in anyway.  I am sure the monotony of the therapy posts will make my readers miss my sleep posts.

The good news in this house is that Liam will be having a formal OT evaluation at school and will have OT goals added to his IEP.  This doesn't sound like a big deal, but it really is.  Schools are notoriously reluctant to provide OT, and Liam hasn't qualified for OT at school since aging out of Early Intervention at age 3.

I have been obsessing thinking about obessing about whether to send Liam to Kindergarten next year or whether to hold him back a year.  There are pros and cons to either decision and I am frozen in terror that I will make the wrong decision.  My anxiety is through the roof.

I got the full report from the developmental pediatrician.  Ben was tested at 30 months.  His receptive language and social skills are the level of a 16 month old.  That is a 50% delay in two areas.  His fine motor skills are that of a 20 month old (33% delayed) and his expressive language is about that same level.  What blew me away is that he shows 4 symptoms of autism.  6 symptoms in 3 categories are needed for a diagnosis of autism, but Liam was diagnosed with PDD-NOS with 4 symptoms.....and now Ben has 4 symptoms.  There is more to the report, but I cannot stop fixating on the severity of his delays and the number of symptoms of autism.

There is stuff related to moving.  The military ships one car.  How will the other move 5000 miles?  Our tenants will be staying until summer 2014, so we need a house to rent.  Therapy to set up for the boys, two IEPs to transfer over, wait lists, and figuring out school.

We are hosting Thanksgiving next week, and will have people Dave works with at our house.  I haven't even started to prepare.

Ben has a cold and has thick yellow snot pouring from his nose.  I am at the start of a cold.

I cannot stop myself from feeling anxious and paniced no matter which issue I try to focus on first, and I am having a hard time priortizing. 

sneak peek of family photos

We had family photos today with Dashing Life Photography

This is the sneak peek of our 14 degree photo shoot:

Running away to Australia

This is what weekends look like around these parts; don't judge me for the wine.

This week Liam proposed that I run away to Australia with him.  He actually said "Mommy, can you and go far away?  Somewhere Daddy isn't?"  I asked if he meant he wanted to go away with Mommy but without Daddy.  Liam said "Yes, we can go to Australia."  I asked about Ben and he said "Baby Ben can come, but not Daddy."

I hate it when my kid proves Freud right and my graduate training wrong.

It looks like Liam and I won't be leaving for Australia anytime soon.  However, the military will be moving us again.....this time back to Alabama.  I will get to see again the wonderful friends I made when we were there before and Dave will get to attend ACSC in residence, which is a huge honor.

Breaking news: Liam is brilliant

I met with the teachers today at Liam's morning preschool.  The big point she wanted to make is that Liam is brilliant, but as his mom, I already knew that.  His obsession with numbers means that he easily adds and subtracts.  He can group to make math easieer and notices patterns.  Within seconds of entering the classroom, he announces how many "wonderful friends" are there that day and the names of who is absent.

She thinks we can reduce the days that his ABA aide attends class to just 1 of the 3 days.  She mentioned how happy Liam is and what a joy he is to have in class.  Her only concern is that there is only one friend he really wants to play with and he needs prompting to interact with other classmates.  I asked about some of his difficulties at circle time and she thinks Liam is "just shy."  I asked about his reluctance to color and she said it is normal for little boys.

All in all, it was a good conference.

As far as a Ben update, he will start OT and speech next week.