Liam turns 5 on August 20th, and the cut-off date for Kindergarten is September 1st, in both Alaska and Alabama. This means that he only makes the cut-off by 11 days and will in all likelihood be the youngest in his class. In addition, I have heard from a friend that Nebraska is changing the cut-off to July 1st, which means if we were to move there, Liam's birthday would be AFTER the cut-off.
As a September 2nd baby, I have been in this situation. I made the cut-off in Pennsylvania, but not in Georgia, and I moved between the states several times. When moving into Georgia, I had to undergo 2-3 days of IQ and academic testing to avoid repeating a grade and then I was always the smallest and the youngest. I had no problems in school, socially or academically. I was reading and writing by age 3, and schools soon learned I did better when challenged. That was my story and Liam is a different kid than me.
For a long time, I have assumed that I would just hold Liam back and do an extra year of preschool. I have many friends who have done that, and I figured my decision would be no more complicated than that. That is not the case.
Alabama will NOT provide services to a 5 year old who is retained in preschool by their parents. In itself, this is not too worrying to me, as we can continue with private speech and OT. In addition, I know where he would go to preschool, and I love it and am excited to have him and Ben in the same school.
My concern is what happens the next year? You know, the year he starts Kindergarten and we are in our 3rd state and 18-20 months from the date of his last IEP. Not all states recognize PDD-NOS as being the same thing as autism. Here in Alaska, PDD-NOS only guarantees an IEP through age 7. So what happens if we move to who-knows-where, and Liam is tested at age 6 for Kindergarten skills and doesn't qualify for an IEP?
I decided to research Wrightslaw to see what my rights are in this area, and all I came across were article saying that retaining special needs kids in hurtful and delays their progress. There is no information about how to ensure I don't lose an IEP while retaining.
So, my other option is to just send him on to Kindergarten in Alabama, as he will have a kick ass IEP written by Alaska. But what if Alabama can not or will not provide the same level of interventions we have gotten used to in Alaska? What is this means that Liam, as the youngest in his class, ends up struggling? What if he ends up hating school? What about the future with him always as the youngest?
Just thinking about it makes me want to start drinking at 9am. And it makes my heart hurt and my head spin. I feel like I have the power to royally screw up Liam.
Those are my thoughts and fears about making any decision about Kindergarten.
Thoughts? Commisseration? Anyone want to drink with me?
6 comments:
Having read all of this, I would still strongly consider holding him back. You could always continue with private therapies that the military would provide right? Many people, even with completely typical boys that are born so close to the school cut off line hold them back. Add to the fact he's a boy, with some delays and challenges and there are some social challenges for Liam. I still think it would be beneficial for him to have another year to "mature" away from the pressures of an academic K class and it would provide him another year to grasp the tenets of social interactions, etc. I've found that K is hugely social. In addition to the academic part which is difficult for Kate as well, it's a lot. If she were born on the cusp of the deadline, I would have definitely held her. PS- I understand the need to not want to F- this up. I am so there with you.
What about a second year of kindergarten? I'm not sure how you feel about that, but I have friends that have done it, and been very happy with how it worked out. Jut a thought to add to your already overflowing brain...
Erin, I am beginning to think that having him repeat K the following year is our best choice. Right now, he has no clue that he should be going to K next year so I was hoping him to avoid ever knowing that he is "held back" but I guess he'd figure it out sooner or later.
Kelly, what you say are all my reasons for WANTING to hold him back. The preschool Ben will attend (where Liam went at age 2) is all about dramatic play and learning to tell a story which would be SO good for him socially and emotionally. BUT if I hold him back, he will lose his IEP. Then we weill move to a completely different state and there is a chance he wouldn't qualify for an IEP. At the moment, his speech tests abovce age level--his delays are in pragmatic speech. His fine motor skills test JUSAT above the qualifying level but the school OT wants to work with him as she feels there is a disconnect between his intelligence and his fine motor abilities so she doesn't feel the scoring is accurate for him. By the time we move to a 3rd state, we won't be working with anyone who knows those type of things about Liam.
Oh Michelle. It's such a hard thing to figure out. I'm on team kindergarten though. I'd rather have Zeke repeat kindergarten twice if it meant keeping his IEP and increasing his chances of getting the help he needs.
Do you know what the kindergarten in Alabama will be like? And not this is something you'd really want to do, but is there any way you and the boys could stay in Alaska while Dave is in Alabama? It would suck, for sure, but at least in Alaska you have everything set up and it would be one less move to put the boys through?
I don't know. I'll pray for you guys as you make this decision. :)
Regarding repeating K, do you anticipate he will make friends that he'll want to/expect to be going to school with the following year? Or will you just move so he won't know the difference?
I forgot about the possibility of a move. If you know you won't be in the same place for those 2 years, then yes, I'd send him to K fully realizing he may struggle with a lot of concepts. But, repeating the year in another location will give him a chance to improve on and practice the concepts without losing his IEP. That sounds like a good plan to me.
Beth, I asked Dave about staying in Alaska; he said he'd turn down the move (which would kill his career). I guess the deployment was as hard on him as me. K is full day there. I need to talk to people who sent their kids to the local public school.
Kelly, we are only in Alabama for a year, not even. Dave's school goes from August to June so we will move again.
What I wish would happen is that the school district and I could agree to keep Liam in pre-K and keep his IEP without providing services and then re-write it with the same goals for when we move again. I don't see them agreeing to that.
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