This post brought to you by the letters D and A.

In February, I wrote about Ben's first appointment for a developmental screening.  He had his second appointment in March, and I got feedback from the psychologist on April 11th.  April was a crazy month; we celebrated 10 birthdays for different kids, started Tball (2 games a week including 7:30pm Friday night games), and had Ben's tonsils out.  That is not the reason why I have not blogged about the feedback session.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.  There is the first D word, but there are two more coming.  I guess it cannot be true denial as I sought out the evaluation after being told a year and a half ago that he likely wasn't on the autism spectrum.  Of course, his pediatrician in Alaska told us a year ago to have him re-evaluated by another source, so I did have some reason to seek out a second opinion.

So April 11th has become our family's 2nd diagnosis day (November 3rd is our first).  Rate of autism is currently 1 in 50 children.  Rate in siblings is 1 in 5.  Rate in this household is 2 in 2.  The diagnosis is Autism Spectrum Disorder, based on the upcoming changes to the DSM, but otherwise it would be the same as Liam's, PDD-NOS.

The third D is doubt.  Unfortunately, the psychologist who evaluated him was crappy and her report and pretty crappy.  Ben is on the waiting list to be evaluated by UNC Chapel Hill, so hopefully that will give me some closure. 

I am afraid that people will doubt the validity of Liam's diagnosis.  Generally, I'd say Ben is higher functioning than Liam is.  On a day to day basis, people notice Ben's delays more since he has not received the intensive help that Liam has.

So what led the psychologist to apply the A word, autism to Ben?  Snippets from the report:
--Continued potty training issues
--high pain tolerance
--"his speech was notably inarticulate and difficult to understand at times"
--"repetitive language was observed, he repeated :so soft" four times while touching a doll"
--when asked to describe another doll, he answered brown four times
--"there was little sustained reciprocal communication"
--most of Ben's verbalizations were requests for help
--his scores of the Vineland were higher than only 7% of same aged peers and his scores on socialization were in the delayed range.
--he would not engage in non-preferred activities or those directed by examiner
--his play had a repetitive quality

Autism Positivity Flash Blog--ausome boys

I am the lucky mother to two ausome boys.

Science Kid is an ausome 5 year old who loves science, penguins, and Star Wars.  Despite the fact that everything from language to social interactions to motor skills has been more difficult, he maintains a positive attitude.  He asks a million questions a day and makes me choose my language carefully.  He is sensitive and loves deeply and believes everyone is a friend.  He challenges my intellect and helps me see the best in people.

Word Boy is an ausome 4 year old who loves anything pink, Hello Kitty, spinning in circles, and Star Wars.  He is wary of others and relies on me to help him relate to the outside world.  He is ausome in his unconditional love for me, the biggest squeezes he gives me and his father, and his energy level which never seems to decrease. His sense of humor and sweet high pitched voice and love of seeming contradictory things (princesses and Darth Vader) make me laugh countless times a day.

Autism is what makes my boys ausome.  I wouldn't want them to be any other way.

Video blog of symptoms and improvements

In the month of April, I have been posting autism facts and myths of Facebook.  I have been pleasantly surprised by the support of my friends.  I begin to think of a way to really show the symptoms and vast improvement.  This is hard as it causes me to face the past.  For the sake of helping others, here is my autism fact of the day....video proof of symptoms and improvement.

This video is Liam at 17 months, trying to ride his Little Quad.  I say his name several times but he never responds to his name.  In addition, he needs help working it but never looks to me for help. At the time, I just convinced myself he was concentrating hard, but no toddler responds like this all the time:

23 months, arm flapping:

This post shows the difference from his talking at age 2 (before therapy) versus age 3 (after therapy): http://routhierfam.blogspot.com/2010/08/comparison-from-year-ago.html

Liam dancing the Wiggles by memory: http://youtu.be/WJAmgOf40vA

Liam in a meltdown:

Video Liam made at age 5:

 

Ben's 4th Birthday Bash

When Liam was 2, I didn't have a party for him, but a dear friend convinced me to celebrate his birthday at her daughter's party and it turned into a big Luau bash.  This year I asked her if she wanted to celebrate the 4th birthday of our youngest children together (our oldests are 6 weeks apart in age, as are our youngests).  Shortly after that, two other friends asked to join our party planning to celebrate their two children turning 3.

The result was a HUGE birthday party.  Each child had their own theme: A chose Toy Store, Ben chose Hello Kitty, C chose Spiderman, and D chose Cars.  Each mom had separate contributions to make.  The party was at Trudy's so I think she had the hardest job.  We all contributed some food and our own birthday cakes.  Penny planned games and crafts (the crafts were individually put in bags in each of the 4 themes and designed so the kids could do them without help).  Lori made goody bags honoring each theme.  All I did was bring the bouncy castle.  How did I luck out?

Getting the yard ready:

Liam on the bouncy slide:

Ben pouting and refusing to smile for the camera:

Trudy's awesome sister-in-law face painting.  We have been using her as our babysitter and the boys LOVE her.  We will miss her when we move:

Sweet Liam:

The bounce house!

My birthday boy, full of contradictions:

Cake time!

Trudy's husband, Jay, and Dave enjoying a quiet moment:

Left side neglect

I am beginning to suspect that Ben has visual processing issues. When asked to write his name, the result is that in addition to issues with holding the crayon and pressing hard enough, he only uses the right side of the paper. Thanks to my copy of "The Mislabeled Child" I suspect left side neglect. I hope North Carolina has vision therapy and that Tricare covers it.

Surgery time again

Ben got his 2nd set of tubes, had an intrascapular tonsillectomy (meaning the tonsils were shaved down instead of cut off), and had RAST testing done.  This was his 3rd surgery, the 4th ENT surgery between both boys, and the 5th surgery overall between both boys.  Some things get easier, like I no longer get nervous before the surgery.  Some things stay the same, like the sickness I feel when they take my baby away to put him under general anesthesia.

Before surgery Ben was all smiles:

Post-surgery, he became combative.  I wish I had pushed harder for them to give whatever they gave Liam before waking up to keep him calm.  The nurse finally suggested we just leave.  He screamed and cried the entire 30 minute drive home, and for quite awhile after getting home.  Eventually, he settled down enough to just glare in pain:

I was not allowed to get up as it resulted in him crying again:

Finally, he fell asleep, on top of me of course:

While he was asleep, Liam's 4th tooth fell out:

He woke up and was in a better mood:

Today, he is back to normal, less tonsils and with brand new ear tubes:

Benny Boo Boo turns four years old

Benjamin Andrew turned 4 on April 6, 2013.  I started this blog right after I found out I was pregnant with him.  It is amazing the journey he has brought me on.

It took 4 years, but Ben's height finally caught up to Liam's height at the same age.  Ben is 41 inches tall and 36 pounds (by contrast, Liam was the same height but 39 pounds).

Interview with my big 4 year old Ben:

Favorite color: pink and orange and blue
Favorite food: broccoli, cauliflower, pizza, and Poptarts
Favorite thing to play: star war guys and my baby and Hello Kitty play set
Favorite thing to watch on TV: Star Wars movies
Favorite book: "Mouse About the House" and "That's Not my Princess"
Favorite friend: Mackenzie (who moved in November), Collin, Luke, and Gibson
Favorite animal: big cats and crocodiles and bears
Favorite stuffed animal: giraffe and little penguin

We had a busy weekend so Ben's birthday celebration was small.  His party is a joint party with friends on the 21st.  Here are photos from his big day.