Here we go again, feeling like I am back in 2009

thankfully minus the deployment and newborn who screamed non-stop....

Ben started the process of his evaluation through the neurodevelopmental clinic here.  He'll have 4 different evaluations in all by 4 different specialists then on October 10th, the developmental pediatrician will review the total results with us.

Today was Ben's OT evaluation as part of this process.  I *know* Ben has Sensory Processing Disorder.  I wrote about it in this post.  That was in December 2010 when Early Intervention started services with Ben for Sensory Processing Disorder.  I wrote about it again in May when Early Intervention upgraded the status of Ben's services and encouraged me to take him to a Licensed Master's in Social Work (LMSW) for Floortime to address his extreme tantrums as they were beyond the expertise of Early Intervention.  The LMSW confirmed Ben is a sensory seeker and we have been working on tactics.

Therefore, today should have been no surprise, but it was for some reason.  I think because I view Ben has higher functioning than Liam, so I never expect Ben to qualify for services.  Then when Ben does qualify, I am reminded of where Liam started with his delays.  In addition, the amount of therapy sessions is exhausting for me, and I have been pushing through, just wanting to get Liam intensive therapy until he starts elementary school, and now I feel I am back at the starting point with Ben and am looking at 19 months PAST Liam starting school of intensive therapy with Ben.

It is a bit much.

So, the OT said Ben has Sensory Processing Disorder, specifically sensopry modulation disorder which is the most common type.  As part of this, he has some mild fine motor delays.  Tl treat this, she recommends to continue Early Intervention.  Ben has moderate trouble with sensory integration and emotional modulation.  She said the best way to address this is private OT, like Liam attends.  So we'll be adding another weekly appointment, though I know there is quite a wait list.  The logisitics of scheduling it will be quite challenging to say the least.  Finally, she was QUITE concerned about Ben's extreme toe walking and immediately recommended a PT evaluation.  So, in the course of a week, I find out BOTH boys need PT evaluations.

Tomorrow Ben sees another specialist for testing.  I imagine developmental testing.  In two weeks, he has his speech evaluation.  Finally on October 10th, he sees the developmental pediatrician and later that day, he'll meet with me and Dave to review his findings.

I have earned my wine tonight I think.  It is only Tuesday and Liam has done 5 hours of school, 5 hours of ABA, 45 minutes of speech, 45 minutes of ABA, a 30 minute session with the school OT, and an hour of Tumbling.  Ben has had an hourt of Floortime and an hour OT evaluation.  I have driven 6 hours over the course of 2 days, done 3 loads of laundry, and cooked a roast chicken.  There has been no naps and a wake up at night.  There has been too much stress and not enough fun.

Neverending battles

I am feeling tired of finally overcoming one challenge to immediately face another challenge.  I am feeling guilty for the fact Liam is missing his childhood running non-stop between therapy appointments.  Today he'll have been out of the house for 8 hours straight....he just turned 4. :-(

I am trying to reduce our number of appointments, and in pursuit of this, I have been in contact ith the school OT so he can receive OT at school and maybe drop his private session.  In reviewing my concerns, she told me that the school physical therapist noted LAST year that Liam has leg tightness which limits his mobility.  She didn't call me and no one woulod have told me if the OT didn't happen to relay this information.

So, this means Liam might need leg braces or at the very least, he'll need private PT in order to avoid leg braces.  Nothing is ever easy for him and my hope of reducing appointments only managed to add another type of therapy.

And of all joys it is only Monday.  I still have two evaluations for Ben's devlopmental screening this week.  No wonder I constantly feel anxious and burnt out.

Fall in Alaska

Fall in Alaska is special.  It just occurs early and is short-lived.  Today we took full advantage as it is possible most leaves will be gone by next weekend.  We started with a hike at Eagle River Nature Center with the Knee-Hi Naturalist where Liam learned about all type of birds.  We spotted a raven, a spruce quail, a woodpecker, and a chickadee.  Most of the salmon have left Eagle River, but we did see one silver salmon still hanging around.  The grizzlies we spotted last week (yikes!) were nowhere to be seen.

Ben resting during our hike:

After the hike, we headed up to Palmer to the Fall Festival.  I blogged about last year's trip here.  Here are some pictures of the boys playing in the leaf pile this year:

It was crowded and Ben clung to me for dear life much of the time, though he did get down to play occasionally.  Liam rode a cute tractor/wagon ride, but Ben refused to let go of me.  After Liam pulled away, Ben wailed, though it might be because he didn't want Liam leaving, not that Ben wanted to ride.  Liam loved the ride:

Liam has been doing so awesome that it can be easy to overlook his difficulty handling some social situations.  Today was too much for him and eventually he resorted to this:

Right after this, he asked to leave and told me it was too loud.  His desire to leave was sudden that we hadn't yet gotten pumpkins (we save it to last so we don't have to haul them over the farm).  Liam was VERY clear that he was not up for picking pumpkins this year.  2011 is the very year since he was born that we haven't picked a pumpkin, but we won't do it at the expense of Liam's happiness.  The festival is only 1 afternoon, so that was our one and only chance.  I am just happy that he can express himself instead of resorting to a meltdown.  We have come so very far.

Which boy is which?

So who is who?

Liam was clearly bigger (Ben had sweatpants and a shirt under his outfit while Liam had nothing but a diaper) at this age, rounder, with chubbier cheeks, and Ben has more hair, but they are clearly brothers.

Then to show how much Ben has grown in the last year:

2010:

2011 (same costume on Liam but a different size....2T/3T last year and a 4T/5T this year):

Surprise birthday party

My whole life I have had jealousy for friends who had surprise parties.  I was a part of planning a couple of them and attended several others and always amazed at how loved the receipients of the parties were.  I rarely had birthday parties growing up.....I had parties for my 1st, 7th, 8th, 10th, and 16th birthdays but not for any others.  My 16th birthday party was my only present....I traded having a party for any present from family.  Dave and I have known each other 9 years and he always tries to make my birthday special but there has never been a party....

until yesterday when I turned 36 and he surprised me with 3 of my friends and their husbands meeting us at my favorite Anchorage restaurant.

It was a wonderful night that won't soon be forgotten and I do feel very special, very loved, and very valued.

More family resemblences

Toddler Michelle

Toddler Ben

Preschool Open House

Liam is in his 2nd week of school at his special education preschool, but next week he will be starting a second preschool.  The reason I decided to send him to a second preschool is that his special education preschool has a very small class size which doesn't allow him to practice social skills as much as I would like.  In fact, this year he is one of 3 kids in his class.  The reason I decided to keep him at his special education preschool was that he recieves group speech therapy and gets one-on-one attention and support that will not be replicated at a regular preschool. 

The preschool I chose is one at a local church.  The teacher has a background teaching Montesorri so it has a Montesorri style.  The room is huge and I literally could not get photos of everything in the room, but I did take some photos to show what the room looks like.  I was trying not to get children (other than my own) in the photos so I was unable to get photos of the water table, the art easel, the craft table, or the floor to ceiling wall filled with bins of supplies.

On the bottom right shelf, there are some sorting and categorizing projects and Liam sat quietly and did them while I met with his teacher.

This shows a 3rd bookcase with manipulatives plus a semi-enclosed reading area and a small curved table with the teacher's aide works on writing and reading skills with a group of no more than 3 students.

I am standing in about the middle of the room so this shows how big the classroom is.  In addition, snack and circle time is done in a different room altogether.

The pretend play area, which might transform into a doctor's office or car repair shop during certain lessons.

Liam loved the room and kept asking me when Tuesday was going to come.  He wanted me to leave so he could stay there and I narrowly missed him going into full out meltdown when he had to go home.  He will be starting the year with his ABA tutor attending with him, but I have no doubt he is going to do great.  The school is parent cooperative so I get to volunteer in the class and see how he does.  I think this will be a great year.