So close but so far away

This describes everything that is going on right now.

Today was deployment day 50, which means we are about a quarter of the way done. It feels good to have survived 50 days, but the idea that I have to do this length of time 3 more times is terrifying to me. In any case, in 50 days, we have take a 4 to 5 hour car trip, celebrated Thanksgiving, celebrated Christmas, received a visitor (my Dad who is still here), gotten Dave enrolled in EFMP (Exceptional Family Member's Program) which the military requires in order for Liam to be enrolled in ECHO (Extended Care Health Option). Then I started the ECHO paperwork and got the cal today that has been processed. In the last 50 days, I have gotten a routine down and just managed to survive. I feel myself gaining confidence as the days pass, and I am less worried about not being strong enough or not handling the day to day things. I am so far from having a handle on things really though--Liam has basically stopped sleeping at all, and is often asleep for only 7 to 8 hours a day. I am exhausted and have a hard time returning calls and getting out of the house. I am having difficulty organizing the vast amount of medical information Liam is accumulating.

Liam is so close to his newest interventions. As I mentioned above, he is now enrolled in the ECHO program which gives him money to receive ABA therapy. I tried calling therapists today, but everyone is closed this week for the holidays....once again so close but so far. Liam is receiving occupational and speech therapy weekly from Alabama's Early Intervention, but needs more intensive services. He is on a wait list to start outpatient occupational therapy, but isn't expected to start until March. I am anxious to get ABA therapy started. I have contacted a DAN! doctor (actually back in November) but have not yet been able to get him an appointment. Speaking of all this, I am so close to feeling comfortable blogging about his diagnosis, but am not there yet.

Ben is so close to getting his first 2 teeth. I can see the bottom teeth trying to break through. Ben wants to get mobile, but has not yet figured it out. In Ben's view, I am always too far away and he hasn't yet mastered mobility enough t reach me. This results in alot of whining.