Difference between a meltdown and a tantrum

So is it a tantrum or a meltdown?

The SPD blogger network has an excellent post describing the difference between a trantrum and a meltdown in this blog post. The basic difference boils down to a tanturm being a manipulative fit and a meltdown being an emotional response to an unmet need.

As I mentioned earlier today, Liam was due to visit a Kindergarten class as part of his speech therapy at preschool today. Hint one: change in routine.  He got off the bus and was a bit emotional, immediately asking to play with our neighbor.  I asked about his visit to the kindergarten classroom and he told me he didn't go as all the kids were gone snowshoeing.  Then he started to ask me if he could snowshoe.

We get inside and I see an e-mail from his teacher, and it mentions that today did not go well.  Liam DID go to the class when they knew the kids would be out of the room to the meet the teacher.  When he returned to his normal classroom, he started to meltdown and could not communicate why to his teacher.  Then they were out of time and he came home.

So I ask Liam if he got upset at school.  He said something about a van and then fell into a meltdown.  The video above was taken 5 minutes in.  I literally could not get video any sooner as Liam was trying to kick me and was hitting himself on the head.  I waited until he was not harming either himself or me and then took this video.  I never was able to calm him down using the techniques his teacher uses, so I sent him to his beanbag.  It took him about 5 minutes but he calmed down and came back to me.

I let him talk for a bit about other things for a few minutes before I tried again to ask why he was upset.  He tearfully told me "I didn't finish coloring my van." Then he started crying again.  This time he accepted cuddles and calmed down as I held him.  From what I gather as Liam was not able to elaborate, visiting the Kindergarten room interfered with him finsihing an art project.

Clearly, Liam was not tantruming or trying to manipulate anyone into meeting a want.  Instead, he was in emotional distress.

Edited to add that I just heard back from his teacher, as I described what happened when he got home, and I was trying to figure out what he was saying about the van.  This is her response (and again, I love his teacher and am sad we are moving as she would be a great resource for his K teacher):

"You know...come to think of it, Liam got upset once before when we didn't finish our art project before it was time to go home. So maybe that's all that it was. We were doing a picture of a van in our writing books :-)
But from now on, she'll be taking him a little later in the day and his work should be done (but these are the types of situations I need to continue to set up to get him used to change and so we can continue to talk through problems that will arise. He understands the concept of calming down by placing his hands on his belly, naming the emotion, and taking belly breaths to get through things that are stressing him out. But I want him stress free for his visits to the Kindy classroom so I'll set up other times when he'll be in the classroom here. ) I'm sure the next visit will go better because there will be kids in there. Plus, once he's worked through something with us, he can usually handle it the next time it happens :-)"

Mr. anti-establishment

Ben refuses to be categorized.  Maybe it is the long hair, but he has been doing it his whole life.  As a baby, there was debate about whether he had colic or reflux....Then reflux or GERD....then GERD or failure to thrive.  No one has ever been able to put their finger on Ben.

At the moment, the only thing everyone agrees on is that he has Sensory Processing Disorder, but that is old news.

After his developmental pediatrician evaluation, he got 3 diagnoses....The developlmental ped says he has Early Childhood Developmental Delays, which encompassed the two other diagnoses: Sensory Processing Disorder from the OR and Mixed Expressive-Receptive Language Disorder from the speech therapist.

In following the recommendations, we have started OT and speech.  Two weeks ago, Ben's private speech therapist discharged him from private speech saying that his delays are not severe enough to require private speech.  That same week the teacher of his social skills group asked me if Ben had ANY words as she never heard him talk.  Those are vastly different opinions, aren't they?  When Liam turned 3, we were actually told the same thing....he had caught up and didn't require private speech anymore....Now at 4.5, he has more speech goals than ever and no one is arguing that he is not delayed or that he communicates as well as his peers.

I am not sure what I should do next. Ben is scheduled to be evaluated by the district in March to determine whether he'll require school services.  I wonder which Ben they will get on evaluation day?  The happy, energetic, attempting to socialize Ben or the fearful, clingy, screaming, shutting down Ben?

Big changes ahead for my big guy

I am still struggling with the Kindergarten decision and trying to find someone, anyone in Alabama to answer my questions about the transfer process from 3-5 to kindergarten and how private schooling affects the IEP.

In the meantime, we re-wrote Liam's IEP here in Alaska.  He has a great IEP team here and between his special ed teacher, his speech therapist, and the school OT, we came up with some great goals.  One of the goals is to expose him to the "open play" time in a kindergarten class.  Since Liam's special ed preschool class is located within an elementary school, there are kindergarten classes right down the hall.  The speech therapist suggested she could take him into a kindergarten class to help address his IEP goal of maintaining a conversation for 4 exchanges. 

Today is the big day!  Liam will be escorted into a kindergarten class so he can get exposure to more transitions and so he can practice conversation with some older and more advanced peers.  It will also provide us with some feedback about how he manages in that type of environment and will highlights any additional supports he might need in order to succeed in a kindergarten classroom.

In addition, in mid-March, Liam will have neuropsychological testing to look at areas of skills versus achievement.  I am hoping this testing will highlight splinter skills, as Liam often tests in the "normal" range while lacking age appropriate skills. 

Liam's IEP goals:
-Upon request, Liam can give his first and last name, school, grade level, name of teacher, parent's name's, parent's phone numbers, and address with 80% accuracy.
-Liam will participate in group activities by sharing ideas, making comments, and asking questions in 4/5 opportunities.
-Liam will use proper eye contact and body orientation (baseline is he only does 20% of the time)
-Liam will maintain a conversation for 4 communication exchanges.
-Liam will independently identify and use socially acceptable ways of managing stress and anger (teacher specifically mentioned this being useful in Kindergarten while waiting in line or transitions)
-Liam will remain on task and complete tasks in the same time frame as his peers by demonstrating sustained attention to task or teacher (biggest struggle at the moment)
-Liam will use a tripod grasp 80% of the time (baseline is 20%)
-Liam will use developmental appropriate drawn lines to draw a recognizable picture.
-When provided a completed model, Liam will manage his materials to complete a 3 step visual motor task.

I might need to shout mercy

It has been quiet on this blog, but we have been busy.  The cycle of ABA, OT, ST, play therapy, and preschool runs continue generally keeping me on the rum 9-5 five days a week.  In addition to that, I have been IEP writing, appointment scheduling, and researching school options....and making myself quite anxious about life in general.

That isn't why I need to call mercy though.  See, I foolishly dared Alaska to give me her toughest winter either since I'd be losing out on a winter (as we'll only be here 2 years instead of 3).  I might need to take back that dare.

In an average winter, Alaska receives 70 inches of snowfall (usually between October and April).  In 2.5 months, we got 90 inches......90 inches!!!!!!!!  The record is 132 inches, but if we keep pace, we'll get 180 inches.  We have only gotten 2-3 inches over the last two weeks, so that threat is seeming less likely.  In addition, the average temperature in January is 13.  This January (as of the 27th), we have had TWENTY days below 0.  TWENTY!!!!!!!  And that official temperature is taken at the aiport, which is about 10-15 degrees warmer than good old Eagle River.

So, I sit here with my Peppermint Tea, soaking up a very rare spot of sunlight, and I am thinking Alaska might have won this round.  My white flag isn't going up yet, but it isn't far off.

What percentage of this speech is understandable?

I am not sure that I am vieing Ben objectively.  This video below shows Ben playing with his "dollhouse."  I don't want to lead (with my opinion), but how much of what he says is understandable?

The play he is doing is scripted.  He always puts the family in the same spots.  Right before this video, I tried to have the Mom and Dad interact but he took them from me so he could do his script.  He also struggles a bit with manipulating them, which is why he drops them a couple times.

A herd of moose

Our house had a moose visitor this spring.  This morning we were eating a quiet Saturday morning breakfast when our neighbor called.  He told Dave "I Just wanted to let you know that you have 3 moose in your driveway, but don't go outside!"  I went to our front window and was greeted by this site:

That railing is our front porch!  And there wasn't one moose, but 3...I'd call that a herd.  Actually, it was a family group of a mama with her two babies.  In this photo, mama was in the back and that front baby made lots of good eye contact with me.

This was the view from upstairs:

Back downstairs, the curious baby was checking out our house:

See the pictures below?  That snow is so packed down that the snow blower cannot touch it (we have been trying to widen our driveway).  The moose can break through but is still far from the bottom.  Also, this is close to the end of the driveway pictures from the spring (for comparison of how different things look in winter):

Two of our neigbors came out to get some photos.  They initially were in the cul-de-sac, but that made mama moose angry.  She ran out of our driveway and they backed up.  She felt threatened so she started to leave:

With that, she and her babies went back into the woods behind our cul-de-sac.  Comparing these photos to the one from spring, I am thinking the moose in the spring must have been a male or a juvenile (or both).