A bit about overexcitability and Asynchronous development

I haven't been posting much because I am tired.  My boys wear me out.  I am not even sure where to start here and I might ramble a bit.

We know Liam is gifted as a test proved that, but without the test, we'd probably start to suspect it.  Last week, he became obsessed with one of the games I put on his iTouch (Stack the States).  This week?  He can take a blank map of the US and point out where each of the 50 states go, and he can do this quickly while making NO mistakes.  While he won't read books, he constantly reads e-mails I write and asks pointed questions about them.  He can add two digit numbers.  He knows how to carry numbers over for addition and subtraction.  He loves science and can recite facts about planets.  Ben is learning the solar system and was stuck at the planet that comes after Saturn.  Liam tried to help him by giving him the hint "It spins on its side."

If you haven't heard about giftedness and overexcitedabilities, then read this link.  Many of these overexcitedabilities overlap with autism spectrum issues.  This quote from the link is particularly descriptive of Liam, "They derive great joy from their boundless physical and verbal enthusiasm and activity, but others may find them overwhelming. At home and at school, these children seem never to be still. They may talk constantly. Adults and peers want to tell them to sit down and be quiet!"  Thankfully, other adults find Liam fascinating and I am often awed by him which helps me survive his psychomotor overexcitedability.  Even with that, just being around him drains me.  Another descriptive quote is "Those with strong Emotional OE are acutely aware of their own feelings, of how they are growing and changing, and often carry on inner dialogs and practice self-judgment (Piechowski, 1979, 1991). Children high in Emotional OE‚ are often accused of “overreacting.” Their compassion and concern for others, their focus on relationships, and the intensity of their feelings may interfere with everyday tasks like homework or doing the dishes."  The emotional issues are the area where Liam still struggles in a school setting.

Now, a little bit about Ben and his development.  Ben is 3.5 and can count to 100, knows several sight words, can spell about 10 words, usually knows the names of the planets in distance from the sun, knows days of the week, can name several states, knows the names of the biggest states (in size), can tell time, knows the days of the week, and knows all the coins by face.  I don't know if Ben is gifted, he might just be like this because of being around Liam all day.  There are things normal for a 3.5 year old that he can NOT do.  The biggest one is potty training and Ben is no where near ready.  He has never peed in the potty and still will poop WHILE doing gymnastics.  How is that even possible?  He also does not regularly use full sentences, confuses pronous, drops negatives, and says the opposite of what he means.  He has little interest in children and has started to refuse to speak in many public settings.  Some of these traits are autism traits so I am worried.  But I also know that gifted children show asynchronous development, explained in this article.  Ben even has a favorite state, Washington, pronounced "Wash-een-teen" but really I'd rather he pooped in the potty.

Between overexcitedabilities, fine motor delays, gross motor delays, speech delays, social delays, changing diapers, answering questions about how things work, and dealing with all of this times two, I often feel quite exhausted.