are the only things that being "close" really matters, and I can tell you that being close to the end of a deployment means nothing, except more pain.
I used to run long distance, and I would prep myself for the final stretch during the whole run. Some days all the stars aligned--I had carb-loaded enough the night before, I was on a familiar course or I had found a good person to pace with/against, the wind was blowing with me not against me, I had slept well, etc; those days I felt all my muscles spring into action as I dug deep inside me for energy I didn't think I had. My arms would start pumping faster and before long, my legs would follow. My lungs would cooperate, and I'd get a giant burst of speed. I placed ahead of several runners more talented than me with this last burst. My coach usually set someone at the finish line to catch me because if I was able to give it my all, I collapsed as soon as I finished. Other days I was off, and any little variable would throw the whole finish off. The burst would never happen. My legs would turn to jelly, my lungs would seize, and I'd be passed by several people as I hobbled and convulsed my way to the finish line. I'd finish sobbing in anger and would pace furiously until the race was over.
I am more than 6 months into the 6 month deployment and still don't have a countdown until Dave's return. This has made crossing days off the calendar seem meaningless as I don't see the end in sight even if it is near.
So, I found this quote:
When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt
And I am not the only one who is tired......
In case you are wondering the deal with the white highlighting, I couldn't figure how to get it off the post....and THAT is the level I am functioning at these days.
5 comments:
I like the quote... seems so very applicable. And hugs to all three of you--- we all need them right now huh? (Although the boys are awfully cute in the pics despite how wiped out they are!)
Keep hanging on! When you are barely making it through know that you are inspiring me! You inspire me to be a better mommy every day! You also inspire me to gripe less when my hubs is only gone for little bits at a time!
I have both deployed and been the parent to stay at home. Being the parent staying at home while my husband was deployed was MUCH harder. For him, it is an adventure as everyday is different -- while you live in a world of diapers, grocery store trips and GYMBORIE...and facing PDD/NOS/autism. Being left at home during a long deployment is hard - but add PDD/NOS/autism and the emotional drain it is on a parent (while cheerfully pursing therapy for a child)-- You are amazing. You are handling a lot with grace and a sense of humor.(Anonymous Military Mom with PDD/NOS three year old son).
I can't add anything else to Anonymous' post. I'm not in your shoes-- my husband is not military and it feels like I struggle every day with just keeping it all together, with only varying degrees of success. Take a breath and give yourself a pat on the back-- you more than deserve it.
Keep hanging on! Though it may not help much, know that you have several friends hanging on the other end of the rope screaming "Don't let go Michelle!!!" We may not understand how hard it is to hang on, but we are hanging on to YOU. Lots of love.
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