Some said that having two kids under the age of two was a crazy plan. I laughed these naysayers off. The last few weeks, I am discovering the logic in their thinking. These days I nurse usually two times between midnight and 5:30am. By 5:30am, Ben is usually wide awake. If he is coorperative, I get a shower....or I have to hope Dave has enough time before work to help keep him calm. Liam wakes for the day about 6:30am, and somehow Ben always times a meltdown in the middle of me getting Liam dressed for the day. I have had a mother's helper from 9:30am until 1:30pm, but that was just a short term solution and her time with me ends in another 2 weeks. When she isn't here, there is generally some calm moments as I play with Liam while wearing Ben in a carrier. Putting Liam down for his nap is also a challenge, as Ben always times another meltdown....do you see the pattern? While Liam naps, I try to get Ben to take a nap that isn't in a carrier. Like Liam as a newborn, he refuses to nap unless he is touching me. This generally means if I eat lunch, Ben gets overtired and cries. I have a choice to either hold him and be tied to the couch or put him in a carrier again. Somehow Ben and Liam always time waking up from naps at the same time. The 4 o'clock hour is usually spent with 2 screaming kids....and me wondering why I don't have cocktails being served to me. Beginning around 5pm, Ben begins cluster nursing and we go into auto-pilot until bedtime. Murray and Sammy are generally in charge of watching Liam during this time until Dave gets home. Then 6pm brings the rush to cook and eat dinner. 7pm means bath time for Liam and he is in bed no later than 8pm. This doesn't mean my work day is over. Generally, if Ben isn't nursing between 5pm and 9pm, he is screaming. The only way he'll sleep longer than 10 minutes is in a carrier or if I am in bed next to him....so I nurse and watch TV.....and put him back in a carrier and pace around the computer while getting some internet time (I cannot stop moving or he cries--I eat all meals standing up and moving too). At 10pm, it is my bedtime....and as long as Ben can feel me touching him, he'll sleep, until 1 or 2am when the cycle starts all over again.
So were we crazy to have 2 boys in a 19 and a half month time span? The jury is out on that....What I do know is that we have given Liam and Ben the gift of a life long friend. Ben will never know life without Liam. Liam is mesmerized with Ben, and always asks about the baby before going to sleep. He wants to hug and kiss Ben, and tries to help me burp him. He makes sure his lambie gives Ben kisses, and he touches his head gently. I am pretty sure that once I survive the first two years, I'll remember those sweet moments more than anything else.
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